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First of all, even if it’s very likely I would not make assumptions that it’s about you. I would let her casually know during your meeting that you received a question and are not sure if she expects you to respond to it. If she is asking for your opinion, then you can maybe share from your experience how to deal with someone who is like that.
I would then shift the focus over to the next topic and discuss the standards in which you’d expect reporting to happen. Also offer her the opportunity to ask questions for her to understand your point of view.
After all this is a great opportunity to align on goals and what needs to be done.
Don’t take it personal. Even if she thinks this about you, that’s her perception.
If during the discussion you find out that the question was indeed about you, be curious why she perceives you this way. The answer will say more about her than you and give you as a manager the opportunity to learn something new.
There are some good points here, but let's be clear. Coming into the conversation with a " this is about you" mindset is problematic and premature based on the situation defined. It's also not the mindset of someone who feels secure in their leadership to write off an employee because they're threatened by the potential for a conversation. Leadership is all about being able to have the conversation. That's the difference between a leader and a manager/ task master that most employees hate. Leadership is not a one-way compliance demand. When you ask your staff to discuss feedback with you for growth, it's a conversation. She may have valid thoughts or concerns about reporting. She may see things differently. Or she may need more context. As a leader, it's not your job to have all the answers, but to work with your team for solutions when you don't. They are your subject matter experts, which is a different progression path, but not necessarily subservient or lesser than. You're working in a partnership on what you're each good at, to be successful. You may need to make the final call, but that doesn't mean respecting your staff any less. You often you will need to take their feedback as an opportunity for you to grow and learn how to support them and improve your interactions to help you both progress and succeed in your careers. Please remember this and take a long view of your interactions. The text doesn't really seem to make sense in the context of the reporting issues. And even if it does somehow come up, it's fine. She "asked her mentor," and you asked here, which shows that both of you are invested in a positive outcome. Don't make her wrong before you even talk to her and taint the interaction, so you have something to fix later. Relax and have the conversation.
You can just ask her... "This question you sent me, is there anything I can help with?" If she doesn't want to talk about it, move on. Whether it is about you or not actually doesn't matter. We all have questions about how to deal with things at work and it is your job as her manager to help her be more effective and confident, not to get wrapped up in worrying about a question she meant to send to her mentor.
Love this, thank you for such a good reminder
I would also give her space when you meet for the reporting to say - do you think we need to change standards? Hearing someone out consistently, makes them feel valued..even if you don't end up changing it. If you really want to show that - put the whole team against that question and see what they come up with collectively.
Since it wasn’t directed to you, I would not act as if it was. I would bring up the fact you received an email addressed to someone else and let her know you’re available if there is anything she would like to discuss with you. Your tone will matter most. This should be a reminder to her that you are open, available, and there to support and guide her in a non-judgmental manner, which means even if it’s about you, you need to act as if it isn’t.