Started dating again and have been honest/transparent if a guy asks me if I’m dating other guys (yes). Seems to be a turn off for many (although men date multiple women 🙄). ATP, do I just lie or evade the question?
For more context, haven’t found or mutually decided to move forward with one guy and haven’t been physically with any. Literally just prescreening and going on dates & no more than 2-3 guys at any point.

likehelpful
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A lot of man like to have their cake and eat it too, but think women should not. The way I look at it, the right hand doesn’t have to know what the left hand is doing. Next time just smile in a flirty way, look them in their eyes (can even place your hand on theirs) and say, “I’m really enjoying getting to know you and seeing where this leads” and change subject. Your not lying as you are enjoying getting to know them and seeing if there is a match, but your also not disclosing information your not ready to give up. At the end of the day a man will always do what’s best for him, so you do the same.

likesmart

It’s patriarchy. They learn these attitudes from movies/music/influencers and then they reinforce it with their friends. I don’t know that there’s much you can do?

smart

I don't think you should lie, those guys sound immature, you're not in a relationship with them so it should be expected that you are dating. You can keep answering honestly, or you can give a vague response like, "I'm just open to meeting my person" and move on to something else. Realistically I understand some people may not like the idea of competition but if it bothers someone to the extent that they don't want to see you again, let them move on happily-that's not your person.

likesmart

My response to this was always something like ‘I’m dating (with a flirty smile, if I was attracted to him)… I’d like to be in a relationship, something serious, but I haven’t quite found that yet... You?’

I gave the honest answer and shared at the level of detail I was comfortable with, and, early on, no one needs to know any more info than that.

My take on this is guys were looking to see if I was just playing the field, having fun, hooking up and/or trying to get free dinners. My response would always allow us to segue into more fruitful discussions on what we were each looking for, what our types were, what we want long-term, etc.

like

Lie lol they're lying to you anyway most are texting and screwing other women. Lie. You're single until married.

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