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Rising Star
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Yes, I recognize everyone is different but if a guy is so fixated on a particular role in anal sex to the point where it’s a critical factor for a relationship, it’s a pretty good sign that we aren’t a good match anyway…
Personally, I have a medical issue where I physically cannot bottom (as much as I would love to). So I’m strictly a top, and my bf who was a top is now vers and enjoys it.
Chief
Two tops can make it work. Two bottoms usually can’t.
Chief
oh yeah, fair. really not a thing for me but plainly is for a lot of people
Pro
Do people *actually* sort themselves into either total bottoms or total tops? Variety is the spice of life boys.
Rising Star
Hear, hear.
Chief
I see couples that are two tops all the time. But can you really not flex a bit? Or not make it all about PIA sex? We’re already such a small proportion of the population. Why cut your numbers down even further?
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I was in the relationship like that and it won’t work out. We matched personality and really had a good time but didn’t sex much. Like you said, if sex is not important, this would work out. Also in this type of relationship, sex drive is normally not equal (maybe one wants more, one less). Also, these types of relationship can be easily in the open relationship if you only like mono- relationship, this is not a choice. After breaking up after 9 months dating, I realized we were like best friends instead of lovers.
Rising Star
Is the relationship open? That would work better.
Pro
Adds one more significant failure point to a relationship that already has the odds stacked against it. That said, I do know a few couples that are tops. They are in happy, committed and open relationships and they regularly bring bottoms into their bed rooms.
Pro
It is unhealthy. I get protective, but not possessive. I get acknowledging our partners’ pasts, but not thinking about it and getting angry at that past.
Rising Star
OP is obviously a bottom because this is only a bottoms problem.
2 tops are FINE. It's very easy to find bottoms who want to get tagged by a couple of tops. And the tops don't have any of those bottom emotions that bottoms have which get in the way of sexually satisfying 3somes.
2 btms are doomed. It won't work. Bitterness jealousy feelings of inadequacy so many mental car crashes. One or both of you would have to completely transform yourselves or just be friends.
Rising Star
And I still find this absolute dichotomy between top and bottom weird. I think most of us are on a spectrum here of some sort.
Community Builder
Yes
Think if you love someone then the positions thing can be worked out later.
Yes you can make it work, but you will have to remove sex as a focal point in your relationship. And know that your both of you sexual needs will have to be met outside of each other. I’ve been in a 5 years relationship and we haven’t had sex with each other in the last 2 years.
Chief
*some needs *may have to be met outside of each other, *if you value those desires more than you value monogamy
If sexual intercourse is a low priority for BOTH of you, then it may work. Otherwise you both need to compromise. Otherwise it won't work out, romantically.