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i’m saying this to assist you with understanding the mentality of ur guests (if you have any)…
if you’re choosing to get married in intaly, assuming based US, why is it so important to you? furthermore, if it is so important, how do you not have any ideas and needs recs ..?
good luck
Gotcha, with the context of the rest of the comment’s tone, I read it as some type of an insult/put down. Thanks for the input! Will consider whether our “why” warrants the trip for everyone when we get to the point of making a final decision on which way we want to go
I have two perspectives to offer - one as a guest and one as a bride. I went to a wedding in Greece in August for one of my oldest and best friends. I wouldn’t miss it for the world but if we didn’t have the relationship we have, I would have missed it. It was very expensive and somewhat laborious to plan a part of a European trip around someone’s wedding. We of course stayed a week or so after the wedding to travel, but all of our travel arrangements centered around being at that one location in the country for an extended period of time for the wedding. We had to sacrifice seeing parts of the country that we really wanted to see because travel was difficult or too long from where the wedding was located. You’ll also need to be at peace with the fact that many of your guests may not come - even the ones you’re closest with. My friend invited 200 people and only 12 from the U.S. came (she did have a number of family and friends living in Greece so it still ended up being a pretty big wedding). However, you should really consider whether that’s something that would bother you or not. Another important note to make is that my friend has an incredibly difficult time filing and obtaining all of the paperwork required to get married in another country. The day before the wedding the Greek government said she was missing a document from the states that needed to be signed by a judge. I called my dad (who’s also a lawyer) and he dropped everything to go to the courthouse and figured it out. The bride spent the entire day before her wedding in tears thinking it wouldn’t be a “real” wedding. On a positive note, we had a beautiful time and will cherish the trip forever.
My other perspective is as a bride who is getting married this September. It has been incredibly aggravating and exhausting organizing a wedding that’s local. I can’t even imagine what it’d be like planning an international wedding.
I’m not recommending you do one thing or another - it’s your wedding and it should be everything you want it to be! I’m just trying to give you some honest, and hopefully helpful, perspective on it.
Good luck and congrats!
That makes sense.. We don’t want something huge and most of the people we really want there love to travel so I’m not sure how big of an issue it would be.. but can never make everyone happy regardless so we’ll have to make a definite decision one way or another here soon. Congrats & good luck with yours as well!! :)
It’s a polarizing decision, no doubt. Some people will love the opportunity to travel with friends, but others (even if they love to travel) can’t help but feel some resentment about being told where and how to spend their money and vacation time. It’s just asking a lot of people and I think you can mitigate some of that in thoughtful ways through your planning. It will be really important to show guests that you understand they are making a big sacrifice to be there with you. I say this as a guest to several international weddings, because I feel like I haven’t gotten to choose how to spend my vacations in a while. Not to mention all of the domestic travel for weddings at this time in our lives as well. Ultimately you should do whatever you want and it is what it is in terms of who can/wants to come.
A few random tips. (My bestie is currently planning hers in Italy). If you do it: send out a save the date a year early (general comment from all her guests that they needed a year to plan), really understand your budget (can you cover grandparent flights, accommodations for core group, do you want everyone staying at venue, will you cover shuttles/transport, what about activities, meals, etc)- people are paying for flights and often taking pto so I think more is typically covered compared to a traditional wedding, GO! You absolutely can’t plan it without going. I’d plan for 1 trip to see and select a venue then you’ll need a 2nd trip to do menus/detail coordination closer. I went with her on that first trip, we really could have used like 4 days and should have looked at more venues. If you do it your friends/fam will have a ton of options so I’d definitely recommend really digging deep to have a clear reason why you and your partner want to do it abroad. Everyone will have opinions so just be prepared for that. Also just google top Italian wedding venues, endless good blogs and sites with info. Good luck!
This!! I’m getting married in Italy this year and agree with all this.
Went to a wedding outside of Luca in Tuscany and it was so fun.
I think it all depends on the experience you want, and there are trade offs with either decision. If you want a unique, international, travel laced experience, go for it! But as others have said, be prepared to have fewer guests. My best friend is getting married in France next year and I wouldn’t miss it for the world, but the PTO, flights, extensive logistics is stressful (her location is a family town that is 2 layovers + 2 hr drive into countryside). For more context, my fiancé and I love to travel, and already had an international vacation planned a month before her wedding. So even your travel-loving buddies need lots of heads up for planning. With that in mind, I think picking a location that is “easy” to get to is key to feasibility for more people (think in/near major city that has international airport). If it’s more important to you to have a wedding with all of your friends and family in attendance, then even a US destination would probably be more conducive to that (assuming you are based in US).
I’m getting married in Italy this year! We always knew we wanted to get married abroad because we absolutely love to travel and it’s one of the ways that we bonded over the years. We also knew that we wanted to have a small wedding (~40 people). None of our friends or family were surprised that we chose to get married in Italy, I think they would be more surprised if we didn’t get married abroad. At least that’s what they told us haha! We gave everyone over a year notice verbally, and sent out, save the dates a year in advance. Most of the people we are inviting are attending, but I think it’s a know-your-crowd kind of thing for how they would react.
In terms of costs, we thought that it would be less expensive getting married in Italy because we live in a HCOL area, however our budget has now doubled from what we initially discussed with our planner.
I definitely recommend getting a planner and I agree with whoever posted above about planning to go visit a couple of times before the wedding too, so consider that in your costs. Having ceremony somewhere different than reception will definitely increase the costs and logistics as well. Even something as small as chairs. You’ll have to hire your catering company or rentals company to put chairs at the ceremony space and move them or put a second set of chairs at the reception place and you’re looking at around probably $10 a chair for the cheapest chair they offer for each set of chairs. Then there is the transportation of guests from wherever they’re staying to the ceremony then to the reception, then back to where they’re staying. And so much more as well.
I am planning a wedding in Spain and having similar thoughts. Of course it is about what my Fiancé and I want but I cannot help but think about the negative reaction some of our guests might have.
We will make it incredibly clear that, while we want them to attend, there is no expectation for them to and no hard feelings for not going - whatever the reason.
I went to a wedding in Ireland last year & had such an incredible time. For me, if I wouldn’t have said yes we wouldn’t have gone to Europe when we did for the first time. My fiancé & I do a poor job of planning vacations bc of our work load/schedule. This allowed us to take the much needed break & travel around Ireland.
The bride did have family there, but a lot of people from the US didn’t travel & some of the ones that did only stayed for 3-4 days. It’s really up to you and how many people you want to go & if you think you’ll be upset if many people rsvp no.