Talk me in or out of a wedding in Italy… if talking me into it, where do you recommend? Would love to hear from anyone who had their wedding there and get some real transparency on spending. I know everyone immediately thinks it’s going to cost a fortune, but I’ve seen where it can be reasonable depending where you are, which venues you use, etc. Have seen the idea of having a ceremony at balbianello and your reception somewhere else, also think Tuscany looks beautiful. Send me all the recs!!

like
Posting as :
works at
You are currently posting as works at

i’m saying this to assist you with understanding the mentality of ur guests (if you have any)…

if you’re choosing to get married in intaly, assuming based US, why is it so important to you? furthermore, if it is so important, how do you not have any ideas and needs recs ..?

good luck

like

Gotcha, with the context of the rest of the comment’s tone, I read it as some type of an insult/put down. Thanks for the input! Will consider whether our “why” warrants the trip for everyone when we get to the point of making a final decision on which way we want to go

I have two perspectives to offer - one as a guest and one as a bride. I went to a wedding in Greece in August for one of my oldest and best friends. I wouldn’t miss it for the world but if we didn’t have the relationship we have, I would have missed it. It was very expensive and somewhat laborious to plan a part of a European trip around someone’s wedding. We of course stayed a week or so after the wedding to travel, but all of our travel arrangements centered around being at that one location in the country for an extended period of time for the wedding. We had to sacrifice seeing parts of the country that we really wanted to see because travel was difficult or too long from where the wedding was located. You’ll also need to be at peace with the fact that many of your guests may not come - even the ones you’re closest with. My friend invited 200 people and only 12 from the U.S. came (she did have a number of family and friends living in Greece so it still ended up being a pretty big wedding). However, you should really consider whether that’s something that would bother you or not. Another important note to make is that my friend has an incredibly difficult time filing and obtaining all of the paperwork required to get married in another country. The day before the wedding the Greek government said she was missing a document from the states that needed to be signed by a judge. I called my dad (who’s also a lawyer) and he dropped everything to go to the courthouse and figured it out. The bride spent the entire day before her wedding in tears thinking it wouldn’t be a “real” wedding. On a positive note, we had a beautiful time and will cherish the trip forever.

My other perspective is as a bride who is getting married this September. It has been incredibly aggravating and exhausting organizing a wedding that’s local. I can’t even imagine what it’d be like planning an international wedding.

I’m not recommending you do one thing or another - it’s your wedding and it should be everything you want it to be! I’m just trying to give you some honest, and hopefully helpful, perspective on it.

Good luck and congrats!

like

That makes sense.. We don’t want something huge and most of the people we really want there love to travel so I’m not sure how big of an issue it would be.. but can never make everyone happy regardless so we’ll have to make a definite decision one way or another here soon. Congrats & good luck with yours as well!! :)

It’s a polarizing decision, no doubt. Some people will love the opportunity to travel with friends, but others (even if they love to travel) can’t help but feel some resentment about being told where and how to spend their money and vacation time. It’s just asking a lot of people and I think you can mitigate some of that in thoughtful ways through your planning. It will be really important to show guests that you understand they are making a big sacrifice to be there with you. I say this as a guest to several international weddings, because I feel like I haven’t gotten to choose how to spend my vacations in a while. Not to mention all of the domestic travel for weddings at this time in our lives as well. Ultimately you should do whatever you want and it is what it is in terms of who can/wants to come.

like

A few random tips. (My bestie is currently planning hers in Italy). If you do it: send out a save the date a year early (general comment from all her guests that they needed a year to plan), really understand your budget (can you cover grandparent flights, accommodations for core group, do you want everyone staying at venue, will you cover shuttles/transport, what about activities, meals, etc)- people are paying for flights and often taking pto so I think more is typically covered compared to a traditional wedding, GO! You absolutely can’t plan it without going. I’d plan for 1 trip to see and select a venue then you’ll need a 2nd trip to do menus/detail coordination closer. I went with her on that first trip, we really could have used like 4 days and should have looked at more venues. If you do it your friends/fam will have a ton of options so I’d definitely recommend really digging deep to have a clear reason why you and your partner want to do it abroad. Everyone will have opinions so just be prepared for that. Also just google top Italian wedding venues, endless good blogs and sites with info. Good luck!

like

This!! I’m getting married in Italy this year and agree with all this.

like

Went to a wedding outside of Luca in Tuscany and it was so fun.

like

I think it all depends on the experience you want, and there are trade offs with either decision. If you want a unique, international, travel laced experience, go for it! But as others have said, be prepared to have fewer guests. My best friend is getting married in France next year and I wouldn’t miss it for the world, but the PTO, flights, extensive logistics is stressful (her location is a family town that is 2 layovers + 2 hr drive into countryside). For more context, my fiancé and I love to travel, and already had an international vacation planned a month before her wedding. So even your travel-loving buddies need lots of heads up for planning. With that in mind, I think picking a location that is “easy” to get to is key to feasibility for more people (think in/near major city that has international airport). If it’s more important to you to have a wedding with all of your friends and family in attendance, then even a US destination would probably be more conducive to that (assuming you are based in US).

like

I’m getting married in Italy this year! We always knew we wanted to get married abroad because we absolutely love to travel and it’s one of the ways that we bonded over the years. We also knew that we wanted to have a small wedding (~40 people). None of our friends or family were surprised that we chose to get married in Italy, I think they would be more surprised if we didn’t get married abroad. At least that’s what they told us haha! We gave everyone over a year notice verbally, and sent out, save the dates a year in advance. Most of the people we are inviting are attending, but I think it’s a know-your-crowd kind of thing for how they would react.
In terms of costs, we thought that it would be less expensive getting married in Italy because we live in a HCOL area, however our budget has now doubled from what we initially discussed with our planner.
I definitely recommend getting a planner and I agree with whoever posted above about planning to go visit a couple of times before the wedding too, so consider that in your costs. Having ceremony somewhere different than reception will definitely increase the costs and logistics as well. Even something as small as chairs. You’ll have to hire your catering company or rentals company to put chairs at the ceremony space and move them or put a second set of chairs at the reception place and you’re looking at around probably $10 a chair for the cheapest chair they offer for each set of chairs. Then there is the transportation of guests from wherever they’re staying to the ceremony then to the reception, then back to where they’re staying. And so much more as well.

like

I am planning a wedding in Spain and having similar thoughts. Of course it is about what my Fiancé and I want but I cannot help but think about the negative reaction some of our guests might have.

We will make it incredibly clear that, while we want them to attend, there is no expectation for them to and no hard feelings for not going - whatever the reason.

like

I went to a wedding in Ireland last year & had such an incredible time. For me, if I wouldn’t have said yes we wouldn’t have gone to Europe when we did for the first time. My fiancé & I do a poor job of planning vacations bc of our work load/schedule. This allowed us to take the much needed break & travel around Ireland.

The bride did have family there, but a lot of people from the US didn’t travel & some of the ones that did only stayed for 3-4 days. It’s really up to you and how many people you want to go & if you think you’ll be upset if many people rsvp no.

Related Posts

Anyone joining on 22nd or 16th August received any onboarding email for day-1 ?

like

Really hoping to avoid judgment on this post. Has anyone had to sign up for government or state assistance after becoming unemployed? Was the process difficult? I have a young son who's at home with me all day right now and I'm looking for a job that I can work from home, but in the meantime we need to eat and I need to pay my rent. Thanks for any advice.

like

Hi everyone! Is there anyone who can give me a referral in KPMG Dubai?

Has anyone else had a mentor (assigned to them by the Company) who seemed to have it out for you? I mean downright sabotage to make you look bad left and right. I didn’t realize it at first. She was fake friendly, but she was discrete too. Some of the executives thought she was amazing, but I had to clean up her work all the time. She wasn’t above me either on the chain of command. Later I found out she had tried for the exec assistant role and they didn’t choose her, they wanted me instead.

like

Need 11 likes for Enable DM

like

Who are you Brian Goodhart ? I’ve been looking at your picture for a year, just waiting on you post but you never do

Post Photo
likefunny

What is the hike percentage for promotion in Qualcomm India?

like
like

Hi All,

I would like to know the process of PF withdrawal in CTS, please help.

like

Any insight into life as a patent agent with stern Kessler? Are there directors to avoid in the chemistry area?

like

I am interviewing for nCino as a entry level Support Engineer. They ask for 2 years experience in the financial services industry and knowledge of Salesforce. I have over 1 year experience in the financial industry and 2 years working with Salesforce. I live in Louisiana and it's Remote. What salary should I be aiming for? Total compensation also if you can! What do other Support Engineer get paid

like

Why the heck do Recruiters and Hiring managers do such a poor job keeping applicants informed to the status. I had my time wasted with an opportunity for a fortune 100 position for 3 1/2 months. Phone Screens, Zoom Interview with hiring manager, Face to face with hiring manager. (Then asked for professional references) , impromptu Zoom meet with other leader who was completely disengaged. Then boom... six weeks of silence vague texts from hiring manager they were still going thru the process..

like

M7 part time vs top 25-30 full time for career pivots and network?

like

After 3 years, the therapist disclosed that she’s in the program. I had wondered often about the source of her knowledge of the steps. Still I would’ve preferred her to remain anonymous in this regard. Now I keep wondering about whether I’ll see her at a meeting and what her story is. So odd. So self centered of me.

like

Which offer should I accept? Currently staff 2 at big 4 in Tax with CPA license. I want to leave tax ASAP. Both are public companies +1B in revenue and same salary. Offer 1 - staff revenue accountant so reading contracts, speaking with the sales team and legal team, a lot of work at the end of the months to close books and reconcile transactions to make sure we are ASC 606 compliant. This track usually leads to director of revenue. Offer 2 - internal audit staff so SOX and compliance projects.

likefunny

Has anyone appeared for Microsoft virtual hiring drive for experienced on 23rd april (Saturday).

like

Anyone aware of Australia or Singapore recruitment firms? Pre-MBA

like

I’ve been in banking for 10 years, 9 of that as a branch manager. I want to transition out of banking, not sure where to start. Any advice?

like

Hello, Is anyone able to refer at Fitch Ratings Inc. ? I am looking at a structured analyst position in CBMS department. Would love to set up a set up a phone call or zoom to share my background and learn more. Thanks!

like

Everything's a toy when you're a kitten!

Post Photo
likefunnyuplifting

Additional Posts in The Wedding Bowl

Thoughts on kindly asking your bridesmaids to please not give a gift? I am over the moon excited that my bridesmaids will be celebrating me and traveling for the wedding and bachelorette. I really do not want a gift from them at the wedding. Full disclosure, my fiancé and I have great paying jobs and my bridesmaids are grad students, artists, and teachers. How would you frame this? Even if they were millionaires I would not want a gift, but I don’t want it taken the wrong way.

like

Is a hair and makeup trial really necessary? It seems like such a waste of money.

like

Help- my SIL showed me two dresses she rented for my shower, and I think they are super bridal/not very appropriate to wear as a guest or bridesmaid. I have asked others and they agree. I feel like my own outfit, a simple jumpsuit, pales in comparison to how over the top these dresses are. What can I say or do? I feel really down but also don’t want to start WW3 by saying something to her. I feel like I now need to rush to buy a new outfit.

like

My partner and I are planning to elope. We want the wedding and the trip that will go with it to be for us. That being said, we want to throw a party of some kind to celebrate with our friends. We're pretty lost as far as the general etiquette around this goes. Do you have to tell venues it's for a "wedding" reception? Is it expected that we will still make a gift registry?

like

We’re having an Indian wedding on a Sunday with ceremony in the morning, followed by lunch, and then cocktail hour + reception.

Given that the wedding starts early, we will have guests (~30) flying in the day before. What is the expectation in terms of arranging dinner for them? We’re trying to avoid having an additional event Saturday night - any idea on if these guests would need to have food arranged for them by us and what that could look like on a cost effective budget.

like

How far out should I be booking my florist? Wedding is 10 months away, not sure what we’ll need quite yet!

like

My stepmom threw me a very elaborate bridal shower. My stepsister pitched in and also did a lot of work for it. Bridesmaids helped but didn’t do a ton. What, if anything should I do for my stepmom and stepsister as a showing of gratitude? I don’t want to spend a lot of $$ but definitely want to act quickly and thoughtfully.

Anyone else’s mom driving them crazy about mother of the bride dresses? Wedding is a little over a year out 😂 Any store recommendations for MOB dresses?

like

Budget question! How much are you estimating spending per guest? This includes food/alcohol/venue, etc

like

Anyone unsure of what to do for bridesmaids “proposals?” I want them to get excited and feel special but when I see how much money I’d be spending on things like custom totes or mugs I’m like is it really worth it? I’d send cards but most of my bridal party I see pretty regularly/they live nearby so it seems odd to send them something when I live down the street. Help! 😅

like

Typical prices for wedding photography in a high cost of living city? (San Francisco) 2 photographers, 8 hours, no travel. Much appreciated! ❤️

like

So my fiancé and I are having a microwedding in Rocky Mountain National Park next year, and we’re working with an elopement planner.
She sent over a sample ceremony (intro, sweet poems + passages to be read, and example vows), and we read through it last night. I was reading it out loud while my fiancé made dinner, and it just hit me that this is really happening. I’m just really happy that I found someone who is willing to take a vow to spend his life with me and I’m so excited for that day :)

like

Does anyone have a recommendation for a good premarital counselor in NYC or NJ?

like

Getting married in September, have a vax only policy for guests. My fiancé’s sister is bringing her unvaccinated spouse to the hotel where all the wedding festivities are being held b/c she is too scared to fly on an airplane without him. I find this incredibly uncomfortable and selfish given it will put me and my fiancé in an uncomfortable position (and it will also put my elderly parents and other vulnerable fam members at risk). Any ideas as to what (if anything) to do?

like

Has anyone hosted their own engagement party? All of my friends and family live far away from us so it is just easier for me to plan it but I feel odd doing so. Any tips?

likefunny

Tux budget NYC?

like

For those who have already had their weddings, what advice do you have? Anything you could change?

like

So, we have a wedding registry and my fiance and I would really like people to stick to gifting us what's on that registry. Yet, people keep asking what they should get us. The thought of dealing with a ton of crap we don't want or need is stressing me out. How can I politely tell people to only buy what's on the registry?

like

If I got married on a Sunday, could I use the flowers from the wedding the night before? (Anything they were going to leave behind like hanging installations) Seems like a waste for that decor to be trashed and an opportunity to pay it forward. Has anyone done this?

like

How much are you all spending on decor/flowers? I am in north jersey and want to spend no more than 4000, and wondering if that’s enough? Medium/tall centerpieces are 150+ and I’m trying to do some faux floral backdrops/arches myself

Post Photo
like

New to Fishbowl?

Download the Fishbowl app to
unlock all discussions on Fishbowl.
That was just a preview…
Sign Up to see all discussions
  • Discover what it’s like to work at companies from real professionals
  • Get candid advice from people in your field in a safe space
  • Chat and network with other professionals in your field
Sign up in seconds to unlock all discussions on Fishbowl.

Already a user?
Login here

Share

Embed this post

Copy and paste embed code on your site

Preview

Download the
Fishbowl app

See what’s happening in your industry
from the palm of your hand.

A phone with Fishbowl app

Scan your QR code to download
Fishbowl app on your mobile

Download app

Sign up for free to view this conversation on Fishbowl

By continuing you agree to Terms of Use and Privacy Policy

Already have an account? Log in

Sign up for free to continue using Fishbowl

By continuing you agree to Terms of Use(New) and Privacy Policy(New)
Messaging rates may apply

Already have an account? Log in

For account settings, visit Fishbowl on Desktop Browser or

General

Legal