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We've got two. Started in our mid 30's. Kids aren't cheap.... Not only with money, but also time. It's a commitment and life changing decision for sure. That being said, I'm not sure anyone is ever actually ready for kids. But you figure it out.
Same as CFP1, and ditto his/her comments. Personally, we are doing ok financially and try to give our kids as many opportunities and experiences as possible. But you can still raise great kids without having the financial means. I think being a good role model to your kids and being there for them is so much more important than showering them with fancy stuff.
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Kids are not cheap and daycare is like having a mortgage these days .
Wait until they start driving! We just had one get his license 5 weeks ago - car cost, $300 a month additional insurance cost, gas money. Speeding ticket required a lawyer to not go on insurance, and then he bumped his friend’s brand new car and the damage estimate is $5,000. Literally bleeding money
U should add, we did need to threaten #2 with one of those OBD port trackers at first.
Its surprising how much your finances can change over 10 years. If you both choose to work outside the house and have good jobs you'll be on good shape. You may hate it, but single income is hard af.
I was terrified too. Having only been in the advising space for 4 years prior to having a kid, my book was still relatively small to live on myself, but my wife makes about 120k and this year I will make about 120k. We are carrying about 100k in debt between student loans, a car payment, and some credit card debt and only have about 40k saved up in my 401k Our personal finances would be better if it weren't for childcare expenses which are about 2k/month. We also eat a lot of organic foods and buy mid priced clothes like at Target for rhe most part with occasional boutique shopping. My point in all this, financially we are making it work and eventually the childcare will fall off once she starts going to school. I see us being out of credit card debt within a year and buying a house next year and I'm 28. I got married at 20, so finances have been tight really until 2 or 3 years ago once we both started moving up in our careers. As long as you have your childcare taken care of and a little extra for clothes and food, you're good. I didn't feel ready and the advice I was told is no one feels ready. For us, we made some financial sacrifices to have a baby, but it's one of the most fulfilling and satisfying things I've ever done. If you guys want to do it, are prepared for the emotional, mental, and physical strain during the first year I would so go for it!
100% 😂😂
Realistically, once we are out of credit card debt and childcare falls off, plus pricing in income growth for the next year, we should be able to save 45k/year and still have flexible budgets. I refused to be an absent father, and actually worked only 3 days a week to stay home with her and save some on childcare expenses as I grew my business. My wife's career is less flexible, so it made the most sense for me to take the hit and hope she excelled in hers, which fortunately worked out. Even though financially we took hits having the baby prior to being super stable financially, I don't regret any of the sacrifices we made to make the best of it (we weren't really meaning to have a baby when we did lol). I would just encourage you to make the most of those first few years before school, they truly grow so fast and my daughter and I bonded really well since we spent so much time together at first. Mom's have an easier time bonding usually, especially if they breastfeed.
Bumping the bonding piece. My smallest hated my guts for the first 6 months of his life. He'd scream constantly if anyone but my wife picked him up. I even went on parental leave for 3 months and it was like that the whole time.
Now, a year later, I live for his giggles when I pick him up and spin him around in the living room in my arms. You just gotta put in the time and bonding will happen. (A pair of noise canceling headphones also helped for the first few months of my situation though 🤪)
I’m currently in my late 30s with a 4.5 year old and a 1.5 year old. I’d be lying if I said it isn’t financially stressful. Daycare near us is about $2,000 a month per kid and I was laid off during a federal downsizing last year and the job market is rough...
But you will love your kids enough that it brings a tear to your eye sometimes. If you’re financially stable (meaning you are unlikely to get fired out of nowhere) just run the numbers to see if you can afford daycare, which will probably be your biggest cost. A lot of baby stuff like clothes, a crib, and toys can be bought secondhand for a pittance if you're diligent about it, and what cannot be still is not over the top expensive, like diapers, formula.
If you can take your current expenses, add daycare, and still have some decent breathing room left at the end of the month, you will probably be fine.
I never considered finances in the decision. In my first marriage she decided no kids, which was a major sticking point and I found myself starting over at 32. As I was dating I heard a coworker give another coworker some advice and it stuck with me. "If you wait until you think you are financially ready for kids you will never have kids. You just do it and figure it out."
A few months later I met a lady with 2 kids who was working and going to school and in debt up to her eyeballs, but I knew very quickly she was the one for me.
I went from being single with no debts (other than mortgage) to married with 3 kids and a mountain of debt in less than 12 months. Things were tight, but we worked through it together and I would not change a thing!