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Reason #1518269 not to fraternize outside of work. It's no knock on them, but I don't want to spend any more time with my coworkers than I have to. I don't want to learn anything about them that might prejudice me against them. Making sleazy comments about other coworkers would certainly fit the bill. I'd either try to shift the conversation or excuse myself to hit the bathroom or grab another drink.
Yeah I get this, I’ve been less and less interested the older I get. I just need coworkers I can get on with I don’t need to make best friends.
Yes, that's one of the reasons I don't socialize with people I work with. I don't want to have to field these kind of issues or deal with this behavior on the job or off the job. I've had coworkers try to message me or add me on Facebook, and I just ignore them. I'd never go out for drinks with anyone at work, with almost no exceptions.
It is safer to keep them at arms length, especially when you know you won’t be staying at that job long term anyway.
That’s such a tough and unfortunately common situation. I’ve definitely seen that kind of behaviour, and it puts everyone in an awkward, unsafe spot. If it feels safe, I’ve found that calmly calling it out in the moment, can make a difference. They always say a silent witness makes the situation worse by not speaking up. Otherwise, documenting and flagging it to someone you trust is important. No one should have to just put up with that.