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To me, people refusing to sign prenups is a 🚩. However, women are at a bit of a disadvantage, especially financially and physically and professionally, if they have kids. So I would just make sure you’re being fair to her too and show her that you’re looking out for her too, while protecting those assets. This way it doesn’t translate as her giving up financial security to have your kids while you’re protected and not at that disadvantage.
This is a very interesting topic, and I suggest discussing it early in wedding planning, rather than waiting until the last minute. The focus should be on mutual protection and minimizing future risks, rather than mutual defensiveness. Honest communication can actually build more trust in this area. LOl
Seen this go both ways. One person asked and his fiance was so insulted it ended the relationship. Another was just happy he wanted to get married.
Brings up lots of issues around trust, hard for us to give advice without know much about your fiance. Advice above about not trying to keep everything and not developing some shared assets makes sense. You also want to think about what you want the marriage to look like. If there’s a huge power imbalance that might not work long term.
If you’re already worried about marriage not working out in the future . “ and basically that’s what a prenup is saying “ Then do both of you a favor and don’t get married . 7 times out of 10 it doesn’t last anyway.
From what I gather after reading the post . The primary financial security . that he’s concerned about in the marriage is his own . And can’t blame him .
Pro
How long have you been together, and have you set a date for the wedding yet?