Why is it so hard to save any additional money every month once I started paying daycare among other things. My wife and I are very good with money too and have very good salaries. 200k+ HHI. Granted we do contribute 10% (me) and 12% (her) to retirement so not exactly like we’re not saving nothing. Anyone else feel like their checking account doesn’t move much month by month with young kid(s) 😂?

I do save $300/month for my son’s 529 plan as well since he’ll likely be going to private HS.

likehelpful
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I laugh when people say they can’t save money. Seriously. When me and my wife got married, our household combined income was less than $100,000. Today, neither of us has a six-figure income. Yet in the 20 years we have been together (married 17); our house is paid off, I grew my wife’s retirement (work) account to seven figures and already have 2 years of college saved up (local instate tuition that is). Our retirement contribution are at 15% for me and 17% for my wife (only because she company has a pretty fantastic money manager - hence the seven figures in 20 years). Even while able to save, we still take 4-5 vacations a year. And no, we don’t have any side incomes supplement our spending. We do have investments but all our our capital gains are invested back in. I don’t use my investment gains for toys.

likefunnyupliftingsmarthelpful

To the person who posted about no college debt must have graduated before 1990--i started college in 1991.. when I graduated 5 years later I was debt free. I paid out of pocket. Some semesters I could only afford 3 classes so it took a bit longer. You can save if you choose to live within your means. Can you survive on one vehicle, find a cheaper insurance, cut down on nights out, and you have to do research on child care. Child care is expensive, but if you do research you can find a good person/school/daycare at a decent price. If there is something you want save for it instead of putting it on a credit card. Try living in a smaller space to save money. There are always ways to save if we are willing to make the necessary adjustments to get what we need.

Or you can go the faster route of robbing a bank. Then living and meals will be free. Ijs

My daycare is $2400/mo in a place where that’s more than double most mortgages, so yeah. I feel this.

likesmart

Public school is free (or more correctly supported through taxes). Some areas may charge for full day kindergarten.

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The first few years of kids is hard to budget for. You don’t know when they will need new clothes, shoes, a new car seat, whatever. You end up buying extra stuff because daycare asks for extra cloths and coats and boots, etc. and diapers. And wipes and overpriced “healthy” kid snacks. And daycare.

Once the kid is in school it all goes down, your daycare, clothes (they stay in 5/6 for a lot longer than the stayed in 6-9 months etc), food and baby gear costs go way down.

And you ARE saving every month. Give yourself credit for the 529 and 401k contributions! You are doing fine. Just stay the course and you’ll find it gets cheaper for a bit (and avoid expensive sports like hockey and travel team nonsense, if you can. My kid plays a sport that’s $350 a month so I’m one to talk…).

likesmart

We found the daddyball-living-vicariously-through-my-kids-and-my-title-is-my-identity guy.

There’s one in every group. Well maybe not in his group, because ya know, you just don’t understand it if you’re not in it.

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So sickened by this whole damn post. Are you all serious???? I can't imagine how you would look at a "normal" person's life. $350k, $200k a year, 20% in retirement yearly, even a $500k house??? That would be like winning the lottery to many of us! I contribute 5% to my 401 because that's all I can afford and I only have 20 some years before what's supposed to be retirement. No, I'm not a boomer! Together we make $120 a year (in a good year) and I'm SURE you all would consider this area very low income compared to your standards. Figure a $1500 mortgage, $300 cell, $300 electric, student loans, a kid, a car payment on a ten year old vehicle, food, life, health insurance and all the other household bills. It must be so difficult to have $150k in the bank. Right now my balance is $1.77!

Maybe I'm just way out of my league here but I thought this was supposed to be a professional board.

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Some of y’all need to say screw the city and find some podunk town with a bigger, better house. The only school is good and safe because population is 5k, there’s a Christian academy if you’re into that or want to lock your kids down for 8 years before they go wild when they’re released to gen-pop in high school. This is insanity in this thread. I have 3 kids, my wife has fibro and other problems that keep her from getting a job that would do more than pay for daycare. So she stays home to raise them when they’re home and otherwise she does most of the cooking and cleaning. I’m the only one that has a job, I didn’t go to college, I got experience with a tech company, eventually proved that I could write good code (I was tech support and built tools to automate my teams regular tasks), got 4 years of experience with their mobile teams which gradually added up to 85k/year. Nothing was easy, our vehicles marked their spots if they parked somewhere too long (a workday). We bought a home for 100k and it’s one of the nicer homes in town, it’s a bit dated though. After I had plenty of “relevant work experience”, I started applying for jobs elsewhere. Now my salary is almost double what it was in February and everyone I work with lives in Boston, Raleigh, NJ, or NYC. Nothing they do with their camera angle hides the fact that they, at best, have a nice apartment which costs more per month than my mortgage, insurance, taxes, AND a car payment. Let’s not forget that they’ll never own a house, ever… unless they get smart and move out of the city, like yesterday.

Y’all just like being miserable? You know that you can probably do your job remotely, right? Surely COVID taught you and your employer that much. Did you just hunker down and wait for the call back to the office so you could wait for the L every day and go back to having a daily chance of being gunned down in the street? Seriously, get out of the city

All this daycare talk (and how insanely expensive it is) is making me not want to have kids y’all 🥲😅

likefunny

ED1, We just added a new gym that has childcare available to our “luxuries” after comparing the cost of membership to childcare costs on the weekends. A home gym sounds great (congrats!) but we don’t have room for it right now. But taking care of our physical health is about as exciting as the hobbies get haha.

I feel your pain. We make our last preschool payment in August and I cannot wait. Basically had a second mortgage payment for 10 straight years. It's criminally expensive.

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We made our last daycare payment last month. I can't tell you what a relief it was. When we had two kids in daycare it was literally more than our mortgage every month. It's ridiculous how expensive it is.

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Was the main reason we left LA for Dallas. We were living paycheck to paycheck, aside from 401k savings, despite making over $250k. Our 2nd child ended up being twins so we had 3 in daycare at once. Dallas lowered our housing costs and income tax expense and gave us some much needed relief. We were able to save 20% for a down payment on a house and bought in 2020.

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We got pay raises when we moved from LA to Dallas.
You can still get a decent house for under $500k…..for now

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Yes, definitely. If you’re doing public elementary school, at least your childcare costs will go down significantly (or potentially be eliminated depending on your need for before/aftercare) in 5 years or so! Also you’ll get a raise soon (if you’re still at EY), so try to keep your spending level the same so your raise can go straight to savings.

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Daycare is hella expensive. We got two kids in it right now and that is like reason #1 why we won’t have any more. Daycare takes a huge chunk out of our paychecks and we are on the way more affordable side of it since we are outside of major cities

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I would recommend an Au Pair. We hosted one and looking back it was a great experience. She was from Columbia, which they’re generally very family oriented and she was also very religious. Lovely girl who took great care of our kids and the convenience of not having to drive our kiddos to daycare/care situation far outweigh the inconveniences that come with welcoming someone new into your home and family.

likesmarthelpful

Just the time saved from having to drive the kids to childcare every day was worth it.

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Yep. I tell myself we will be Richie Rich when the youngest gets to kindergarten. Just focusing on enjoying the meanwhile, even if living modestly.

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Haha I was thinking the same thing until I realized our school is half day kindergarten and we have to pay for the other half day! Never ends, haha

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The retirement and 529 IS saving, it’s just not super liquid.

Fwiw, my strategy has always been to aggressively grow income rather than cut expenses so maybe it’s to hit the job market if EY isn’t taking care of you.

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Quality childcare is crazy. People without kids never seem to understand its like having two mortgages. My daughter started kindergarten this year and I feel like we got a raise! :-)

I would definitely recommend using "You Need a Budget" and really sticking with a structure spending plan every month. We were able to work backwards from our goals and still do the fun things every week, like dine out with friends, see concerts, etc. This has been the best budgeting tool imo. Way better than Mint, or what our bank offered.

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Think of it like boiling a frog - you have to step up slowly.

- Each year increase your 401K contributions by 1% until you max out.
- Open a IRA for each of you. Start with $100 a month
- Every year increase it by $100 until you max

Given your relatively high HHI putting money into tax deferred accounts is an immediate 24% rate of return since you will be taking it right off the top of your taxable income. Add to that any return from the actual investment.

Once you both hit max on all tax deferred investments, open a regular account and do the same thing - $100 a month to start. This will start building a portion of savings without IRS restrictions and with the taxes already paid.

Come retirement day your goal should be to be living on less than 80% of your income. This will allow you to retire comfortably without a hit to your standard of living.

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Ah yes, my secret to saving. Get you notebook out. First, choose a real shit hole city; smack middle of the country college town, where all neighbors drive a lifted truck but never moved a brick in it. Next, move your aging parents out of the big city they were in right next to you, because they too could no longer afford to live there. Boom child care. Last, everyday you send prayers out to the multiverse that daddy Biden stays the moratorium on your crippling student loans.
And that, my friends, is how you save a couple hundred a month… that will ultimately all go to student loans….

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Ahhh classic. Personal attacks

I had twins and it was slightly cheaper to hire a full time nanny than to pay for daycare for 2. A lot more convenient too. But still feeling like every month we were flat, not saving ... and that was with no student loans but HCOL area. But soon enough they will be in school, hopefully public so you will get some relief and some return on your property taxes :-). It will be over before you know it , but each day seems to drag on and feel like this will never end... that's why I've heard having young kids called "the longest, shortest time"

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It might not only be the daycare. This year is also quite rough. Are you two doing financials and budgeting together? Are you tracking your spending by categories and setting saving and budgeting goals? There could be a lot of hidden or unaware over spend when not doing so. Especially with the current inflation and market performance, if you do not have a budget or have not updated your budget, it’s very easy to fall short very quickly.

According to our budgeting file grocery, car cost (gas and toll), eating out, pet cost (daycare mostly), among many other costs, have all significantly increased this year. Our baby is not born yet but we are also tracking all the spending related and yes they are expensive and need very often budgeting adjustment. And while both of our income increased significantly this year (HHI went from 300K to 500K), our net worth didn’t really go up so far because the market is just bad. Our saving goal is 40% out of gross income and with the market right now staying stable seems like a dream.

So don’t worry too much since I think you are doing quite okay just need to revise the budgeting a little. Good luck!

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I found when I stopped buying brand names it decreased costs a lot - e.g. Nike sweatpants $50, Costco sweatpants $10, avoiding brand names saves anywhere from 10-80% off of food, clothing, etc

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Kids are expensive. For good reason, nothing compares to life experiences you get from raising them.

Just sucks that businesses know this too.

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One thing that helped was maxing out my FSA for daycare. It's literally like a large discount depending on your ETR. Also you can try and look at your withholding and take and calculate if your over withholding. If you usually receive a large credit due to childcare then you can change it. This applies to pwc but KPMG and deloitte had similar benefits.

likesmart

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