33F, learned that I probably can’t have kids. I’ve been in a relationship for a couple years and it’s going really well but I know my partner wants to have kids. And he still wants to get married later this year. He’s being nice about it and said he’s fine to adopt but I know it’s hard news for him too. I don’t want there to be any resentment down the line. Should I just break up now?

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Been in this same position myself. I highly recommend going to a therapist who will guide a deeper conversation around this. I, too, thought my now husband (then fiancee) was just being nice about it and I tried to break up with him and give him an out. I tried so hard to push him away due to my guilt when in fact, he wanted a life with me more than he wanted kids. We discussed adoption and thought we'd go that route but we eventually realized that we had built an incredibly fulfilling life without kids of our own so we decided to stay child-free and spoil the kids in our lives (nieces, nephews, friends' kids) and love being auntie and uncle.

Don't let your guilt push away someone who wants to love you just as you are. Seek the guidance of a therapist and take it from there. Families come in all shapes and sizes, there are other ways to build a beautiful family if that's what you two want: adoption, surrogacy, egg donation, IVF...

Good luck

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Where's that? This is not me. Surely there are other people working in operations on this site?

It's really a long shot decision.
There is a possibility that you guys have great relationship but can't be sure of the kid honestly.
You need to talk to your partner seriously and also to the people who might affect or influence his thoughts. He may be ready but people around can make a fuss about it eventually breaking him down.
Also adopting a kid is a big responsibility so consider the kids emotions as well.

Talk to your partner and his close ones and see where it heads. If all of them supports your decision then you are blessed. Talking to your close friends and family is essential because you'll be relying on them for all possible encouragement and support.

So be clear about this decision

You also said there's a possibility so try all solutions possible to make it happen and I wish you good luck.

There are different people with the same title

Define “can’t have kids.”

We couldn’t conceive, so IVF was a solution (which worked).

First pregnancy was terrible (baby amazing though!) so surrogacy was how we had our second.

Wow heavy stuff. Counseling for sure. Consider your thoughts on surrogacy and adoption. Adoption is shockingly hard. My very qualified friends really struggled to match. None of this is easy. Wishing the best for you

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