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Lol are u talking about me because I an exactly as you described. I stay in my room because I like it, and rarely interact with my siblings because they’re a handful and I’d rather they leave me alone. Trying to figure things out with my life in some aspects so need the alone time.
Hmm I see. Yea it’s good of you to care for him- I’d be flattered if my sibling cared for me like this but they don’t care and I don’t either lol. As C1 said, try not to pressure him but put it in a casual way to bring him out of the room
I basically just work, play games, and have stayed inside with my SO since COVID started. I’m somewhat introverted and was already a gamer so it was a easy shift for me.
Aside from always being tired because my job has crazy hours, I’m pretty happy and have a list of things I’m working towards while I save money not going out all the time.
Are you sure he just doesn’t like this lifestyle? If you are worried about his physical health, maybe look into getting him a Peloton and a healthy prepared meal delivery service - both of these things helped me greatly after putting on a few pounds at the start of the pandemic. I’m in better shape now than before the pandemic started and I never leave the house lol.
See if he has any big plans for when the pandemic is over and maybe go from there. Just be willing to accept that he might be happy.
Is there a therapist in the house? Now y'all are just defending your POV. Just stop replying to each other. No one needs to have the last word.
OP, get off your damn phone and bring dinner or something over to your brother's place. Special delivery, homemade meal. Go!
Chief
Sounds like he has self control if he still gets work done and remembers to eat.
What’s the issue? Is he not cleaning up after himself? Does he not pay rent? Why do you think he needs help? Unless he’s harming himself or others, or not being responsible, I don’t see why you need to get involved
Chief
I’m glad you finally understand that adults have free will and don’t need to live by expectations of other people. It’s funny how humans think they have the right to dictate how other people live huh? You’re very welcome 🙂
Chief
OP, these people for whatever reason don’t care about family. Don’t listen, I think it’s totally normal that you are concerned. It’s bs that it’s none of your business. Even if he as an extreme introvert, it’s unhealthy for both mind and body to not leave the room and not eat healthy.
Maybe try inviting your sibling to join in some activities that don’t require much interaction or talking, like you could cook a meal and you guys can have a movie night or think of some outdoor activities like small hikes, museum visits.
One way that I encourage my sister to do things with me (she is overweight and not very active) is to position it as something I would love if she does with me. So for example, I would say — hey sis, I was going to walk the dog but I would love if you would join, it’s kind of dark outside and you know I get freaked out easily. Works much better than saying — hey you have been inside all day, you really could use a walk.
I don’t know what your siblings likes and dislikes and I’m not saying you should pressure them, but the worst is that if they are depressed and stuck and you decide it’s none of your business
Hi OP - as someone who has struggled with depression since I was 12 and has watched my brother spiral into depression as well, these were some things that worked for us (and made us much closer)
1) being open about my mental health issues, normalizing convos about therapy and medication (usually through humor)
2) if he doesn’t see a therapist, ask if he’s ever thought about it. I helped my brother find a therapist and that helped a lot bc finding a therapist covered by your insurance that fits the criteria you’re looking for is exhausting
3) plan activities (like hiking) or having dinner outside the house together. If he doesn’t feel up to it, offer to buy dinner and watch a movie or something. So making time that is very intentionally spent together and leaves space for more serious convos if needed
If you have any questions about anything feel free to PM me :) well versed in mental health issues/therapy/psychiatry. And thank you for looking out for your sibling. You know your brother best and can tell when something’s up. Ignore people who are being incendiary just to be incendiary
Enthusiast
How does this show he has no self control? Maybe he just doesn’t like you? Leave him alone.
My sibling and I like each other a lot, thanks for judging. And I don’t bother him, nor have I really brought this concern up with him - and that’s only because I am trying to figure out the most constructive way to do so
I think what most people are missing here is the sudden change in OP' sibling's behaviour. It's understandable that you're concerned OP, I would start with things he likes to do. Maybe ask to join in to play video games with him? Get him new games? This will maybe help him to open up to you more. Gradually progressing to shifting playing the games in the living room maybe. Then assuming he starts talking more with you, you could, as some others have suggested, go for a dinner, movies etc. It's possible that there's nothing necessarily wrong with him, just that he is liking his own company more and is enjoying being disconnected from his family. It isn't completely healthy so try connecting him back with the above ideas. Wishing you the best OP.
It’s the weight that’s bothering you huh? Take him to see a new movie, just plan things and run it by him.
I see nothing wrong with this. He works, he relaxes and he eats. If he's not paying rent, and electricity and trash and whatnot, slip a bill through his doorcrack....or turn off everything and kick him out. Worst case scenario.
Hope y'all work it out.
Re: Consultant 1, if there is light, there is shadow.
Why so much judgement? Why are you assuming he has no self control? That is quite rude to say about your sibling.
Just because it’s not what you think his life should look like doesn’t mean it’s bad.
And if he was showing signs of depression (abnormally high sleeping, withdrawing, etc), that is a clinical issue that has nothing to do with self control.
As I have already stated, I do not have knowledge in depression related matters and that’s what I am trying to find out. I wasn’t even aware that this could potentially be sign of depression and hence my original post.
Pro
Are we siblings 🤔
Good possibility that he is depressed.
If yes, then this is definitely not him bringing the worst out.
OP, I think you should see a therapist first. This whole thing about your brother and your parents are really eating you away.
Enthusiast
This isn't a lack of self control. This is depression.