6 weeks into a new job, I had a miscarriage. I’d known from the beginning that this was likely, given surgery I’d had recently, so have been anxious since day 1.

I’ve been working on a few baby brands and found it v difficult. My brain wouldn’t work at all, and I found myself crying constantly.

I told my male boss about the miscarriage, and a couple of days later he called me to tell me how poor my performance had been during that project.

Does anyone have any advice? I’m really heartbroken

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WOW. Hell no. This is really good information for you about whether or not you want to continue working for this guy. I would roast him in my exit interview.

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First, I'm so sorry for your loss. 💙💙

Your boss' response was completely lacking in compassion. Depending on how comfortable you feel and how much "proof" you have of what was said, consider going to hr. But know that they're there to protect the company.
If your remit is going to be largely baby brands for the foreseeable, consider whether you can do that (totally understandable if the answer is no). If it's a no, two choices: advocate for yourself to get on other accounts, or find a new role externally.

Pls take care of you.

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That guy is clueless and you need someone else besides him to hear what you’re going through. At some point, hopefully it can also be a learning moment for him.

I agree this is worth talking to HR about but not necessarily to discuss your boss’s response (I’d bring up the fact that he’s aware and that he has also shared feedback around your resulting work performance but that you’d like to give them some context on what you’re experiencing personally.) Companies now have leave for pregnancy loss so at a minimum I would hope you would at least gain a sympathetic ear that you’ve suffered a traumatic personal event and the overlap of the kind of work you’re doing is triggering. Think about what you need to get through this moment - and be honest with yourself that healing might take more time than you think. You might have options to work on a different assignment or get a partner in doing the work so you don’t have to shoulder the conversations around the work alone.

I have miscarried and I have had a successful pregnancy and I’m sort of astounded by the fact that the latter didn’t cancel the pain of the loss. I’m still saddened by people’s pregnancy announcements, birth announcements, etc. It feels like I shouldn’t be but I am and that’s just the reality of it. Just because miscarriages are relatively common does not mean that women and couples who suffer them should be able to suck it up and move on with things, that’s just not how the experience goes for most. And you should know that unlike your boss, you’ll be a great support system to other women at work over the years as you’re able to share your experience and empathize with their struggles.

I’m so sorry you’re going through this.

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