Chief
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This died out pretty soon?
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Wtf is this lax traffic right now
Anonymous User
Pro
Season finale of billions... 💸 #teamaxe
Hello! Anyone work at GE Healthcare?
Let's go Steelers
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Chief
New fear unlocked and I’m straight
There’s not much you can do. I never befriend women at work outside of professional necessity. However, I don’t restrict my friendships with men to that extent. That may seem less supportive in some respects but that’s what it’s come to in todays working environment.
Bruh take the project transfer. You do not want to be on a team with someone who is going to do that to you.
OP. That makes total sense. Be careful and stay far away from her.
Don’t talk to females on the work place!
Birthing people!
No matter what, at the end of the day you made her feel uncomfortable in the workplace. Instead of getting defensive and trying to justify, maybe try and reflect on why she may have felt uncomfortable with the invitation to begin with. Then you may be able salvage the situation and formally apologize from a place of sincerity. You can express your intent, but still admit you were wrong. That shows integrity.
Maybe she needs to reflect on her discomfort. Everything you said can go for both parties…but your assumption that the woman’s “feelings” were not be questioned is the dynamic that underpins men avoiding women. Its also patriarchal - as if we “women” require protection from discomfort and can’t be asked to question our perceptions. This shit doesn’t earn the respect of our male colleagues for good reason. Who knows…maybe she’s an egomaniac who thinks men can’t resist her.
Chief
I’m so sorry this happened to you, OP.
I would recommend not engaging with that female colleague, because you don’t want her to twist anything you say and file anymore things against you.
Explain your side to HR, and any written documentation you have to support you, please share with them.
I would still move projects if I were you, since that female colleague is a ticking time bomb who can explode your career at any time. HR would also probably make sure that you and her never work together again.
Please don’t let this drastic overreaction inhibit you from interacting normally with other female colleagues moving forward! Of course it will take time to heal and develop trust with people, but don’t let this once fiasco of an incident shut you down.
And by written documentation, we mean your marriage certificate to another man.
May be she already knows about you and is homophobic. Let HR know that she is homophobic.
Don't make things up to retaliate. Tell HR to do their job.
Maybe she’s a hardcore Bible thumper who hates LGBT people. And she’s discriminating against you to hold you back in your career
Funny how your post about how bad discrimination is.. is discriminatory. Additionally, did you know lying is a sin in the Bible? Get a grip
Yeah it won't help. I've seen this happen before. A female employee was in the process of being let go. She called HR about my male manager for sexual harassment when he did nothing and was never creepy or anything. Could she have a person issue with you?
I had an older coworker who would constantly cry sexism and run to HR whenever she disagreed with the group. I actually thought I might’ve done something and asked the other female coworkers if I’m subconsciously being sexist. They told me I was fine and I should just avoid her. Took their advice and never worked nor spoke with her again even though she sat one desk away from me. The company was rather generous and gave people a year to recover from PIPs so management couldn’t do anything until there were layoffs, she was the first to get culled.
Trying to fix these situations is a fool’s errand, these people are often insecure and incompetent so they try to get their attention and job security by throwing someone else under the bus.
Guilty until proven innocent. Get outta there ASAP
You are damn lucky to just get a project change.
Folks get flat out fired on first such reports.
This is the terrible truth of corporate. OP needs to construct his defense and lawyer up, if they continue to take her side.
Nothing ever gets done because people let other people (women in this case) do dumb things without repercussions. If she can’t play volleyball she can just say that. You shouldn’t have your life disrupted because she doesn’t know the difference between passing a ball and making a pass at her. What an airhead. Good luck sir.
Nothing will help. It’s out of your hands.
However, what you should do is have your husband bring you lunch where she can see, have a nice warm embrace with him, and enjoy yourself as the embarrassment washes over her.
People like her will not last long in this game
She sounds like a nut case. I would just leave the project.
Sorry this happened to you but I don't even see any policy violation. Clearly, you were just friendly and maybe you are a personable guy. But even if you were flirting.. where is the crime?
In any case, don't ever engage with her again. No need to redeem yourself in her eyes but make it clear to HR she is wrong.
Do you think she has a reason to do this to you? As in, are you in her way to move up the ladder or something?
Do not reach out to “clear the air”. Formally challenge through HR and demand escalation. If some low level HR flunky took the easy way out without seriously vetting the situation you will be the worse for it. If there is a real justified complaint that withstands a for al challenge from you then you need to deal with it. You have rights and are owed the same level of deference her complaint received. Ask who your formal advocate or ombudsman is. Do not allow them to make it go away.
Rising Star
Volleyball is basically foreplay these days. I know some people who go pregnant just from serving. You think it’s a joke, but that’s why we have HR to protect us.
I had the opposite happen to me. Hired a gay man (not openly gay but it was known) who was also >40. Long story short, he was not performing in his role and knew I was about to put him on a PIP. Right before doing so, he sent me an absolutely nasty email (documented in writing) and cc’d my manager, that accused me of “micro-aggressions” and so on. I have never had such a thing happen in all of my career and was blind-sided. Meanwhile, then (as he knew before sending this) I was unable to put him on a PIP because that would be seen as retaliation.
It was an HR mess. Really damaged me and he ended up quitting anyway. During all of this time he sold $0 (it was a sales job) and his pipeline was lower than anyone else’s. We wasted money on his salary for 9 months. I heard later he had done this same thing at another company and it ended the same way.
People are crazy on both sides, folks. And some of them know how to work the system.
God this is hilarious. I mean it’s unfortunate for you, but this literally reads like a sitcom.
Why not respond with “that surprises me as I’m gay. Here’s my recollection of the interaction. I really hate that she felt uncomfortable. I’d love a chance to talk this out with her with HR present so no one has to leave the project”
🤯 - this is absolutely insane. All I can say is distance yourself from this negativity.
File a complaint on her. Don't let anyone get away with such cowardice. Normalize fighting this to the end.