Conversation Starter
Related Posts
Is everyone on a date, I’m still working 🥹
Conversation Starter
Any Punjabi guys here? 26F, west coast
31 F based in Chicago. Does anyone want to talk?
Conversation Starter
Conversation Starter
Any F fishes down to grab a drink? 25 M
Has anyone else ever dated a coworker?
More Posts
Coach
McKinsey & Company I am joining the McKinsey & Company Boston office in late July and searching for housing in the meantime. If I could get some insight on the ratio of days in the office vs work from home that would be super helpful!
If I need to come into the office regularly I will try to find a place close by.
New to Fishbowl?
Download the Fishbowl app to
unlock all discussions on Fishbowl.
unlock all discussions on Fishbowl.
lol this post is weird. It reminds me of my middle school diary lol.
Conversation Starter
Hahahaha.. well this whole online dating thing and meeting people makes me feel like that sometimes! Lol… only thing different is I’m old now and have a bunch of responsibilities.
Chief
This seems like a good first date, not sure why you wouldn't give a second date a try. Don't over think things.
Conversation Starter
Thank you for sharing this!
Not focussing on the fact he’s German but I agree with M1: don’t lol because (highly subjective pov incoming):
- I see going Dutch as a partner privilege
- I don’t want to get taken advantage of by guys not looking for a meaningful LT connection
- I don’t want to be treated that way
Derailing this but why do you not want to drive him away? FYI I’m Asian too
While I must say that someone paying for me on a date usually feels flattering, it’s (a) quite a German thing to split the bill early into dating (makes it feel more special 2nd /3rd time around) and (b) I think it can make things easier, especially if the date doesn’t go so well / you don’t want to feel stuck with obligation.
My (German) brother once told me, he never pays on the first date to not impose the feeling of an obligation to the women, in case she didn’t enjoy the evening.
I’m not sure it makes sense to everyone, but somehow to me it did 😂
Don’t
Conversation Starter
Don’t date them? Any insights into why?
Rising Star
Everything besides splitting the bill reminds me of my German ex and I’m getting triggered 😂
Conversation Starter
Thank you for sharing ^^
I mean generalising like this is rarely useful but here are my observations in random order (I'm German but lived in the US for a while, now married to a Brit).
Compared to American men, I think Germans are more reserved and wont show as much affection initially until they are ready to commit. But when they are committed, they are a lot more sincere about relationships, it just takes them a little longer to get there.
Germans in general are very honest,to the point where it can come across as offensive, demanding or off putting to English speakers. I still have this issue with my husband sometimes, eg I'd express my opinion on something and to him it just feels super direct and blunt, while I just said something that's normal for Germans.
German men tend to trim their armpit hair, which is something nicer than a wild bush popping out at any given moment.
Germans are more sincere about money, so to Americans or Middle Eastern folk we will undoubtedly come across as a bit stingy. But this is just for the best intentions, to prevent anyone from over spending and encourage financial literacy. Because we are lovers of honest and direct communication, you can just tell us if you're unhappy about stuff like splitting bills! German men won't take up all the bills 100 % of the time,that's just not our culture. But we are very happy to just do rounds and not split bills all the time.
Haha, I think British men sit firmly in the middle :D Less flamboyantly cheerful than Americans (from my German perspective), but a lot more friendly and cleverly funny than the average brash German.
For us sincere and direct Germans, Americans and cheerfulness/politeness often comes across as a little inauthentic (even though its not meant to). Because we take everything so serious, things like standing folk up for prom, having fiances in other states and lying about it, all stuff I saw happening multiple times while I lived in the US, just don't happen in Germany to the same extent. If we don't want to take someone to prom, we just bluntly tell them. I felt that American men are quicker to make compliments, impress you, invite you on lavish dates, but they might just as quickly start looking elsewhere again. With a German man you know where you're at!
Brits definitely have the best humour and approach to communication, I learned so much about avoiding conflict/being more indirect and diplomatic from my husband. I prefer working with Brits 100% over working with Germans, they are always so serious. Germans, especially in the big cities, tend to marry later than Brits. Brits are more open-minded and experimental when it comes tofashion - not always to their advantage though 😂
P.S. Please take all my comments with a sense of humour 😁 nointention to offend any Americans, Brits or Germans.
Girl he insisted on a split bill- I’d run personally. Men shouldn’t see your bank card
Conversation Starter
He spoke very warmly during our 2.5 hr convo but he also seemed cold you know. Anyway he says let’s keep in touch and he isn’t much of a texter maybe once in the morning he’ll rely to the message. But anyway that evening I texted him saying let’s hang out soon we he wanted to. He said okay. Now the next time we meet I know we’ll have stuff to talk about but I don’t want to drive him away at the same time I wanna be me. Lol, if you haven’t guessed I like him so far. So any tips on do’s or don’ts or just in general how are German men like on dates, or while dating, or even when married. We’re similar in age but he’s more a pompous he’s than I am. That’s an insecurity for me but I’m learning to accept it in life some people move quicker than others. Apart from that his values so far align with mine and he’s really cute. But I dunno if he’s into me. Like I dunno when he talks is it cos he’s just a nice person or what?
Conversation Starter
He’s more accomplished*than me
As an American who lived in Germany, my experience with German guys is that you have to initiate. It feels like reverse of the US in terms of gender roles. Sleeping together early is culturally normative and doesn’t get you labeled as “easy.” In fact that it is how you slide into a LT relationship. Marriage is not something that many German men really plan for and several guys I know ended up fathering children as an oopsie and then either married their girlfriend or just coparented.
Rising Star
On the flip side, most of this is not something any of my family in Germany would agree with, and my German ex was always initiator… seems like everyone has different experiences. Agree with the point that they don’t generally sex shame though.
If you feel you connect well with Germans, but want someone warmer and sometimes also funnier - You can try the Austrians ;)
Conversation Starter
Hahaha.. I’ll keep this in mind! Sadly haven’t come across any Austrians in the Middle East