What are your biggest red flags when dating someone new?

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If they bash their ex. Like if a guy says “my ex was psycho” then usually I think he did something to make her “psycho.”

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Waking up next to a horse head.

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Daaaammmm! That’s actually happened to y’all?

They don’t ask questions / only talk about themselves

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Saying they hate their mother

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Fair point.

Making fun of other people or super critical.

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-not looking to anything serious
-poor conversationalist
-poor (general/table) manners
-talking in excess about unaligned interests
-extreme ends of a political spectrum

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OP was asking about *my* biggest red flags. Obviously with dating, what you want and what you’re attracted to vs what I’m attracted to will be different; likewise with red flags and turn offs…

This is just my list

*cracks knuckles*

I had a string of bad experiences and used that to formulate questions that would really get to the heart of the matter. The substance/core that the questions are getting at are below:

meaningful experiences that define them,

relationship with the men/women in your life and how that’s informed their perspective,

whether they love themselves/have actually put in the work to determine who they are/what they want,

fidelity issues/reasoning behind previous breakups,

family goals/upbringing and how they look at the family unit (traditional gender roles vs. equal and equitable partnership),

how their family/friends describe them, and who is on their “board of directors” that helps with decision making/conflict resolution,

general goals in starting a new relationship/dating.

Might sound formulaic but honestly it’s been fantastic in creating really substantive connections, staying true to who I am/my goals/desires, and weeding out folks who aren’t compatible. hope this helps…

likefunny

Now just need to make a list of casual questions to ask them that also indirectly help answer these bullets.

likeuplifting

Excessive alcohol consumption.

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They have a dog.

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If they’re super liberal or super conservative. I don’t really want to be around someone that consumes all their energy hating half the population.

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They’re my ex. 🤷🏻‍♂️

No one likes a mooch

They exist

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I went on a “date” recently. I paid for the tab as they were going to the bathroom. As we were leaving they said “thanks for lunch” — I was hoping they’d at least ask to Venmo me half as a kind gesture. Following lunch we grabbed dessert. I was hoping they’d offer to cover dessert since I covered lunch but it didn’t happen.

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