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Do you want to go on an epic vacation that could cost hundreds of thousands of points? That may require keeping one program.
Otherwise I'd definitely do one Marriott.
I have Marriott Ambassador and Hilton Diamond. I also stay fairly frequently with Hyatt.
Marriott, without a doubt, is the worst program of the three. Their benefits are a joke: they don’t offer confirmed upgrades at booking like Hyatt, they offer the worst point earning promos, and they by far have the worst customer service. They are also the least consistent in terms of quality. However, they have the most properties and market share which is valuable in itself (and how they get away with such a bad loyalty program). Their variety is what keeps me coming back
To answer your question, it really depends on how many nights each of you plan to stay in a year. If you plan on staying less than 50-75 nights total, I would stick with one brand. Otherwise, I would go maybe one Marriott and one Hilton (or Hyatt if you mostly only travel to major cities). The reason I say this is because staying with one company really doesn’t add value after you achieve status. This is especially true with Marriott, which doesn’t even offer rollover nights. Yes, you make progress towards lifetime status, but there is also a time requirement for this, which defeats the purpose of staying past 50 or 75 nights. The benefit of having status with two companies is that, whenever you travel together, you can truly select the hotel the best suits your needs. You don’t have to look only at Marriott or only at Hilton properties. You achieve maximum flexibility.
My wife and I are now pursuing a similar strategy. I have started staying mostly at Marriott, she stays mostly with Hyatt. We also have the Hilton Aspire Amex, which offer automatic diamond status (and a $300 hotel credit). We stay maybe 175 nights total between the two of us, and that’s enough to book one super nice vacation per year, plus have a few free stays locally here and there!
If you stick with same program you can transfer points to each other and combine your efforts. Would make the most sense if you want to ensure you have enough for stay 4, get the 5th night free.