Anyone else have family/friends that seem to resent you because you have a good (lucrative) job and are able to afford nice things? I don't even make six figures, but because I'm able to afford nice vacations and eat out often, they think I'm "rich" and always make snide comments about it. The thing is, they themselves either don't work at all or don't have decent/steady jobs. Such weird energy & bad vibes.

My FIL makes snide remarks to my husband and I all the time. We do well for where we live, but are by no means rich + have a lot of debt we are working to pay off. It’s exhausting to be around because we never get to be excited about positive things in our lives without him making a backhanded comment. It’s one of the reasons my husband will go weeks without talking him.

I had a brother-in-law, and his wife always make comments about "must be nice to have a new car, new house, etc." It drove me crazy. The same two criticized another sister for taking vacations, a nice house, and new cars.

She chose to be a stay-at-home mom. Just like I chose to work. I can have nice things because I worked hard to earn them. Same for the other sister.

If you don't like what you see, then make a change to do something about it. Don't be critical because we can afford it.

I make ALOT more money than my friends but I don't flaunt it, they'd be shocked if they knew how much I make. And they would probably resent me. So I don't show it off.

Yeah, I have relatives who partied and dropped out of college and have been working entry level jobs for years, if they’re working at all. Sometimes when we do something nice they act like we’re “lucky” or that we should help them out. It’s a little hard to take when they called me “lame” and “boring” for years because I was studying/working and saving while they spent every cent they earned and did nothing to increase their earning power.

Yeah, been there and felt those vibes all the time. It stopped when I stopped showing everyone what I did and deleted social media.

Things are much more peaceful now.

They just think that I spend too much money on things. My thing is that I'm spending MY money on things I want/need. If I want to pay a little extra to stay at a safer/nicer hotel on vacation, and I can afford it, it shouldn't be a problem. It's not like I'm doing that and then I don't have money left over to pay for necessities.

I think my brother resents me, but it’s okay because I haven’t spoken to him in years. Despite that, I can understanding that it’s probably hard having family that resents you, because it’s hard to cut them out of your life. But why have resentful friends- cut them out of your life and get new, hard working, friends that will be happy for your successes.

My wife and my best friends- he works public works for his city- maybe $25 an hour. Don’t know what his wife makes, but certainly more than that. They do fine and we never discuss our salary. But he will make comments about his boss like “he makes $90 Grand! He is rich”. Meanwhile, my wife makes $150k and I make $200k. We do not flaunt- we live in a house we paid $250k for 23 years ago. And when we do things together we always try to pay or overpay our way. We make sure we never talk about money.

I used to have friends like this but I am no longer friends with them for this reason and because of their general negativity towards everything. I make a point to never talk about how much things cost or talk about money so it is especially annoying when people get resentful. I chose to work hard and people like to ignore that fact and focus on how you have a better job than they do and make more money, when they could have done the same thing. In my mind, it is not my problem if a “friend” has an issue with me taking nice vacations or buying things I want when it has nothing to do with them - people like that will never do anything to change their own situation and continue to find reasons to fault you.

In my experience, if you’re not doing anything to flaunt your wealth in front of these people, there’s not much you can change in this scenario unfortunately.

Yeah. I get that too. My husband and I don’t have kids. And when we schedule vacations and go out to eat, I always get “oh, you don’t have kids…”.

I don’t brag about our vacations. I really don’t even like to talk about them.

Are some of the comments about not contributing to a retirement fund

I have never posted on such yet today, I felt
compelled. I hope this helps at least (1) of you or your perspective is different by the end.

I apologize in advance for the lengthy post. The book will be a bit deeper ☺️should you not want to preview here. Shhh 🤫

Please keep in mind we are all human, including myself. We will fail at something. Fail forward as Denzel Washington likes to state.

With gods grace we are given the next day to breath and to make the next day better.

You will find my words to be different then most & that is how I have thrived all my life. I am not a yes person,
I tend to speak respectfully when asked and typically have a different way of viewing.

I assure you not all will like this feature but the ones that want change are the ones most headhunters or people of power want next to them. This is a great characteristic to have and given times, hard to find. Time that I was allowed to teach my children thanks to my rare surgery that took me away from what I loved.

I know who I am and after making it to the top I was told I was like a circle trying to fit into a cube yet having the most set appointments, working from home @ 5am to make sure clients we’re taken care of. I even took my laptop on vacation for the first day of each so that the first 300 emails would be reached out to before I got to enjoy a few days… Most would find that brutal & a couple hours in is, and I’m sure many can relate. However, you have changed that persons wknd entirely.

I wanted to shined like no other & the hard work was worth it. The suggested comments of not fitting in the cube made me only prove how wrong one can be when they are not with you 100 percent of the time.

They became great mentors and informed I should take the leap & have the surgery that 80 percent manage to have infection from and not perform as they were or do not make it at all.


20yrs+ strong in the corp role & loved everything about helping others/ small business, owners and employees reach success by setting financial goals
in place & bringing in the right partners to help such. (During lunch hours) They loved it & loved me.

Why? I showed empathy, care & a genuine trust that I was taught . Not that many of you aren’t. It is easy just to get caught up in the success & decide others aren’t worth your invites or spare time to be around.

A rare accident caused me to take a step back and have a surgery that took me away from my position.

It’s easy to look back and think that others may be being snide or rude however, when you make it to the top it is crucial to be humble to all. Yes, you/ we/ I deserve said success for the hard work yet many fail to mention or flaunt the hard work they put in because it’s not the best time to share when your doing the less extravagant work.

Many share when they have made it to the top & then flaunt it. It is human nature, yet we can all change that behavior which allows you to become a better person and raise up someone that does have a passion for success. They may just need some guidance. I volunteered for so many organizations that it was almost a life mission to understand where each person was coming from so that I could understand how to help. Many will not put in the time to do so or they feel, that’s not my job why should I do that. Why? Because you just allowed another individual to/couple have a reason to put in said hard work.

I have my accident hadn’t happened it hadn’t happened , I would have never got to enjoy my children growing up for a for a couple of years. I’m thankful for that. I too put in 70+ hours & 3 jobs at the age of 18 for my family. My mother a single parent. I wouldn’t change it.

Back at it, I will tell you this. As I coached others and saw their downfall and coached them up or coached them out.
“ If you don’t humble yourself, life will humble it for you.”
Given many different background’s & circumstances, it if my perspective that people only know what they know.

Give back, rather than inform on their suggested slack.

Consider having them restricted from your social media so they don't see everything you post and therefore know where you've been and what you had. I know it's difficult with family because you'd have to do it to everyone who is related.
Also it's good to remind them once in a while, in causal conversations, that you work long hours, had to fight for your position, make (specific) sacrifices, still paying off student loans, but very grateful to be able to enjoy the fruits of your own labor.
You can't control what and how others think and act, but you can control what and how you put out for them to hear and see.

We have a friend like this. We’ve never disclosed our finances but they always ask how much we spent on things and I always have to lie/lowball or try to ignore the question. It’s awkward and intrusive.

We don’t post on media of where we are or what we’re doing in life, work, vacays, assets, nothing.

I do believe it bugs folks when you keep to yourself when you make a decent living bc it compels them to either pry or make you feel as if you’re not sharing enough, then paving way for the snide remarks.

Even in small talk, these friends always bring up how they can’t afford this or that like we can so they just have to tough it out or miss out..

It’s really exhausting. Only the wife does it.

A little. They don’t understand how me and my husband can take multiple trips a year. We have a decent income together and both get bonuses so we always save 60% and spend the rest on traveling. They can barely afford one trip which I think is great. We try to never flaunt it but also why can’t I post a Mexico picture on social media?

Cut them off. They’ll only bring you down in the long run because they don’t want to come up to your level. Your net worth is the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with- time to level up yourself!

It's family trauma of family/friends that is running their show. This is tricky situation: their passive/aggression is a violation of the relationship. I highly recommend distancing yourself. You can't have a reasonable/healthy conversation with them and therefore you will never feel balance. People with good self-esteem are happy for the successes of others. These people are not in a healthy place and it's not your job to get them to understand.

Who cares? You worked hard to get where you are. Help those who helped you in return.

People are either happy for you or they’re not, and most of the times it’s family that’s jealous not friends. Besides, if they resent you cut them out of your life. Life’s short, don’t waste it. Keep on earning and working hard.

This subject deserves a glass of wine (honey)......this is total truth

If you took the money away, would there still be a problem? It is normal for people to be somewhat judgmental and jealous, but it is probably not the money itself but maybe more a behavior dynamic and the possibility that you exceeded the status quo of that group and that may move you out of the circle.