A relative is raising a teenage son with her ex-husband. They have joint physical custody. The ex-husband has re-married. When the son is in his care, he often leaves the son at home in California with his (new) wife when he travels for work (which is often). The relative wants her ex-husband to leave their son in her care when he travels out of town but the ex-husband disagrees. The relative wants to know her chances of prevailing if she were to appear in court on this issue. Thoughts? Thanks!

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In my state, you can't change anything without agreement or a change in circumstances.

I recently argued against right of first refusal and won. Exact same situation.

In my case, right of first refusal would have led to arguments, increased monitoring by Mom of Dad's work schedule, and encouragement of child to detail to Mom Dad's every movement. In short, inviting more litigation and instability.

If kid has no issues with step mom, it's a tough argument to win when step mom is a regular presence in child's home with Dad and child is a teenager.

likehelpful

Thank you for sharing your experience! Very helpful

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Not sure about the odds because i don't know the facts and background of the step-mother. However you could look at the decree for a "right of first refusal" clause. If not one in there then petition the court to amend the decree to add one.

likehelpful

Thank you for the response! I will look into that. As for the step-mother, there aren’t any issues regarding her parenting of the son. Biological mom merely wants to have the son in her care when the ex-husband is out of state.

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Also a teenager’s opinion will be relevant here.

likehelpful

Move for a “right of first refusal”

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Depends on your state.

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Generally I’ve found that judges will bend/break the law if they think it benefits the child. They get flexible with kiddos.

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