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My experience is tell them when you feel comfortable, but at least for pregnancy, around the time you might announce publicly - around the end of the 1st trimester. Obviously depends on your relationship. It’s proactive of you to have a coverage plan but honestly I think that should fall on them and you can work to help set up a smooth transition. Maybe I’m callous but when I was on family leave I was like - basically not my problem. You’re priorities change a bit.
It might be good to ask HR (or look it up on your own) what their policies are for adopting parents and then go from there. If you’re close with your boss, I don’t think it would hurt to let them know you’re exploring this option and will let them know as you learn more. I’m sure you could ask them for discretion in sharing.
They’ll help you find a coverage plan. I would give as much advanced notice as you can but wait until you’re clearish on dates.
Also when I worked at Grey I got five days of paternity leave and that was just a few years ago. Guessing it’s improved now but be prepared to be underwhelmed.
WPP and GREY Group actually have pretty reasonable parental leave policies (especially considering how brutal they are are pushing the numbers elsewhere) (just Google WPP parental leave, you can see all kinds of third party resources available) - a member of my team/direct reports adopted a child last year - and I am a future parent myself so this is something I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about.
I recommend a two part approach that balances protecting yourself and being collaborative with your boss/company:
1. familiarize yourself with your HR policies around parental leave for adopting and laws in your state. Self-serve the info on your own first (ask for handbook or look up online without being too specific about what policy you are interested in) Know your rights and remember that HR doesn’t exist to protect you - it exists to protect the company from liability. Get your ducks in a row first on what your rights are before talking to anyone.
2. The sooner you can tell your boss the better - even if the timing is unknown. That will allow them to help you develop a coverage plan (particularly because adoption could happen at any moment) - go to your boss first; then HR second. (Since if you go to HR first, they will tell your boss)
And always, always, always document everything - anytime you have a conversation about parental leave, recap that conversation with your boss (with a CC to HR) over email and request written confirmation of alignment (here is a recap of what we discussed, can you both please confirm this is accurate)
Best of luck!
This is great / thank you to everyone who responded !