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I have a good operational memory but don't retain things in memory for long. So, I'm very good during projects (thinking fast) but if a client comes back to me with questions next year, I don't remember what I did and why, so I have to make detailed notes on everything. I also don't remember much of what I learned in school. I just learned to live with this.
My advice is to find and leverage your strengths and to find a partner and friends who are forgiving about your long-term memory issues. I used to have partners and friends who were not, and my life was miserable.
I have medical condition(s)* that impact memory pretty heavily, and somehow people keep giving me good feedback. Just be honest, write things down, verify everything, and repeat until it's muscle memory (vs working memory). The anxiety and self doubt will 100% make it worse, so at least forgive yourself for how your brain works. Also, maybe go to the doctor if it's also impacting your life outside of work.
*Medical conditions beyond just ADHD, sorry missed which bowl this was posted to. Get medication if you are diagnosed and can.
My memory goes to hell when I’m tired, stressed out, or really mad. Have you considered trying taken written notes? I do that for all my meetings, and I would not be able to remember who said what to whom if i didn’t have notes to look back on. Maybe give that a shot?
Also, be easier on yourself! Work and life can be hard. We have to be kind to ourselves.
Experiencing difficulty while learning does not mean you are dumb or uneducated. The struggle that you feel IS learning.
Finding the sweet spot of struggle is necessary. Too much and you might feel frustrated or maybe even quit. Too little and you might feel bored.
Fwiw, you can avoid memorizing certain things by using tools like reminders.
The brain is like a muscle. You need to exercise it.
Yes I struggle a lot with my memory and feeling like my recall isn't great. I make lots of lists and put reminders in my phone and that actually does help. I also have a white board on my front door where I walk out every day and I write things on it that I need to remember.