Does loving the consulting lifestyle make me a horrible father? Will my kids resent that worked so much?

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The key is to be “home” when you are home. Don’t be on your phone or your computer. Be present when you are there. That’s all they really want. Your undivided attention.

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1) Not necessarily
2) Maybe

You gotta do what you gotta do to provide for your family. There’s nothing wrong with enjoying the consulting lifestyle — in fact I think this is impossible to do long term unless you enjoy it — but you need to be honest with yourself whether you use being on the road as an excuse to not be home.

As for whether your kids will resent it, there’s no way to know for sure. Obviously in an ideal world your kids would probably prefer that you be there 100% of the time, but we live in reality and that’s just not possible for most. Whether your grown kids will understand the tradeoffs you’re making now to secure their future is not something you can know. All you can do is be as present as you can, do your best as a parent, and it’ll be what it is.

I know for me, I feel like being home less but making sure I’m present when I’m home feels more effective than other parents I’ve seen who are home but on their damn phones all the time...

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One thing I should add, I did two years in industry where I was home every night. I hated my job and work environment and that affected my mental health to the point where I was having anger issues my kids would suffer from. Having happy daddy three nights per week is way better than miserable daddy seven.
Ideally I'll eventually find an industry job I love, thought I did the first time, but until then I am doing the best I can to make the situation tenable.

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Grew up with my dad traveling 3-4 days a week. We’re very close. As mentioned above, he was 100% there when he was home and as my sister and I got older he’d make plans to trace around things like concerts and games that we had to be as present as possible for us.

I think it was harder between him and my mom at times, honestly.

Agree on the being really there, in the moment. For me, the hardest issue is to not short-circuit my parenting responsibilities when “an important call” is always there as an excuse to remove myself from the difficult situations.

Agree with the partners and D above and will add one thing that works for me is that my wife is a SAHM. She has worked when we've had kids, but that has been too tough to keep up and they get the short end of the stick.
She loves parenting, volunteers around their school, and is always available for them.

No sir. But when you’re home, be home. Put the phone away and be engaged with the kids. Quality time beats out quantity of time any day.

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