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Visual Storyteller
Yeah at some point, you just have to give up. Clearly you're putting in a lot of effort
Pro
I just want some closure I guess. Like did I do something wrong? Is there a reason she no longer wants to associate with me? We were so close and promised to be each other’s maids of honor someday several years ago (I know that’s cliche but it makes me sad to think back on).
Pro
Why not acknowledge it? “Hey, I noticed you didn’t respond to me the last few times I texted you. Was it something I said or did?” And if you don’t get a response from that, I think that would be all the closure you need. If this friend isn’t kind or considerate enough to provide an explanation then that’s no friend at all. I’m sorry you’re going through this 😞 I’ve certainly been there too
It happens. Life paths diverge. But you probably shouldn’t have slept with her dad.
It’s part of life. At some point you realize the effort isn’t worth it or mutual. You know she read the messages. If you keep trying you look desperate imo. You need to make adult friends. People change. People grow up. It’s part of life cycle.
NO answer is an answer! It’s as direct of an answer as you can get !
I live in pa. Best advice is you have to be happy alone. Don’t look for others to make you happy or feel needed etc. if you can’t control it don’t stress it.
Maybe you can just give her a call? Messaging is not really good for building lasting friendships
Pro
Fair point, I think a call will be my last ditch effort and if nothing comes of it then I should probs just move on and see if she ever reaches out. Just don’t understand why the read receipts have to be on, adding insult to injury🙃
Happened to me too. Had a group of 5 best friends from HS and we all drifted apart. I too felt really sad. You never quite get over it until you backfill those friends with new friendships. You have to put yourself out there and be open to forging new close bonds. Now I’m totally over my HS pals but took some time for sure.
You’ll get over it once you develop new friends. I find now I like my friends more than my HS ones. We all just outgrew each other and our values changed. I know it sucks right now, but if you put yourself out there you’ll make new even better friends. Trust me. I was in your shoes and it happens. You’ll also learn to become more independent and need close friends less which is also good.
Honestly, people can be weird sometimes. I had a good friend in high school who had been like the “photographer” of our friend group and posted pics all the time - not too long after HS I noticed she took all the photos off social media. Then she started deleting people off Facebook - including me by end of college - I have no mutual friends with her anymore and never heard from her after junior year of college, even though I had reached out. Honestly based on these actions and old conversations, I got the impression that she wanted to “delete” her memories from high school - think maybe it had to do with regrets about drama/guys she dated/behavior at odds with her religion/who knows what else - and forget who she was back then. She seemed kinda desperate to get married and move to the “family” stage of life and quickly married a guy from the military, just had a child to my knowledge. Anyhow my point is that she clearly had her own issues and wanted to move on from the person that she once was, which to her involved cutting everyone from that time out - not necessarily anyone else’s fault
Probably the most likely scenario here. This was the first thing that came to my mind as well. People can change a lot after high school. They may have negative associations with their life or even themselves from that time, have built a new world for themselves now, and are trying not to dig up the past. What’s fun and nostalgic to us could be uncomfortable or painful for them. It might not be an explicit decision to ignore OP. Could just be that seeing the message pop up stirs up a lot of emotions and the instinctive reaction is to ignore it and pretend it’s not there, rather than engage in a difficult conversation.
We can be friends, OP..
Sometimes things just stop working, out of no fault of yours or theirs or anyone's, but just because. Some people change, and some people don't, and inevitably, some things between those changing and unchanging people will stop working.
Chief
Whatever her reasons are, it probably has more to do with her than anything you said or did. It’s true though, you really shouldn’t have slept with her dad.
Enthusiast
I feel you. I have a friend I’ve known since I was 4. We’re 32. She seems to only pop up in the last few years when she needs something from me. It’s been hard for me to acknowledge that I’m the only one putting in real effort even though it’s obvious to my other friends. It’s hard for me to “give up” when we’ve been friends so long. But I’m at that point because there’s little reciprocation and I genuinely think I didn’t do anything wrong. So 🤷🏻♀️
Going through it too OP.. i recently started trying to meet new friends and forget about people who don’t put in the effort.
Also sometimes you grow apart and conversations are difficult to maintain since you don’t have anything in common anymore