Feeling really sad about friends I have drifted apart from despite efforts to stay in touch. My best friend from high school and I haven’t seen each other in about 4 years, I messaged her a year ago, got a nice response from her, and I tried keeping the convo going but she left me on read. Offered her and her boyfriend tickets to join me and my boyfriend at a concert in fall 2019, left us on read with no response. Her bday was last week and she left my bday wishes on read too. I’m so sad.

like
Posting as :
works at
You are currently posting as works at

Yeah at some point, you just have to give up. Clearly you're putting in a lot of effort

like

I just want some closure I guess. Like did I do something wrong? Is there a reason she no longer wants to associate with me? We were so close and promised to be each other’s maids of honor someday several years ago (I know that’s cliche but it makes me sad to think back on).

like

Why not acknowledge it? “Hey, I noticed you didn’t respond to me the last few times I texted you. Was it something I said or did?” And if you don’t get a response from that, I think that would be all the closure you need. If this friend isn’t kind or considerate enough to provide an explanation then that’s no friend at all. I’m sorry you’re going through this 😞 I’ve certainly been there too

like

It happens. Life paths diverge. But you probably shouldn’t have slept with her dad.

funnylike

It’s part of life. At some point you realize the effort isn’t worth it or mutual. You know she read the messages. If you keep trying you look desperate imo. You need to make adult friends. People change. People grow up. It’s part of life cycle.
NO answer is an answer! It’s as direct of an answer as you can get !

likesmart

I live in pa. Best advice is you have to be happy alone. Don’t look for others to make you happy or feel needed etc. if you can’t control it don’t stress it.

Maybe you can just give her a call? Messaging is not really good for building lasting friendships

like

Fair point, I think a call will be my last ditch effort and if nothing comes of it then I should probs just move on and see if she ever reaches out. Just don’t understand why the read receipts have to be on, adding insult to injury🙃

like

Happened to me too. Had a group of 5 best friends from HS and we all drifted apart. I too felt really sad. You never quite get over it until you backfill those friends with new friendships. You have to put yourself out there and be open to forging new close bonds. Now I’m totally over my HS pals but took some time for sure.

like

You’ll get over it once you develop new friends. I find now I like my friends more than my HS ones. We all just outgrew each other and our values changed. I know it sucks right now, but if you put yourself out there you’ll make new even better friends. Trust me. I was in your shoes and it happens. You’ll also learn to become more independent and need close friends less which is also good.

Honestly, people can be weird sometimes. I had a good friend in high school who had been like the “photographer” of our friend group and posted pics all the time - not too long after HS I noticed she took all the photos off social media. Then she started deleting people off Facebook - including me by end of college - I have no mutual friends with her anymore and never heard from her after junior year of college, even though I had reached out. Honestly based on these actions and old conversations, I got the impression that she wanted to “delete” her memories from high school - think maybe it had to do with regrets about drama/guys she dated/behavior at odds with her religion/who knows what else - and forget who she was back then. She seemed kinda desperate to get married and move to the “family” stage of life and quickly married a guy from the military, just had a child to my knowledge. Anyhow my point is that she clearly had her own issues and wanted to move on from the person that she once was, which to her involved cutting everyone from that time out - not necessarily anyone else’s fault

like

Probably the most likely scenario here. This was the first thing that came to my mind as well. People can change a lot after high school. They may have negative associations with their life or even themselves from that time, have built a new world for themselves now, and are trying not to dig up the past. What’s fun and nostalgic to us could be uncomfortable or painful for them. It might not be an explicit decision to ignore OP. Could just be that seeing the message pop up stirs up a lot of emotions and the instinctive reaction is to ignore it and pretend it’s not there, rather than engage in a difficult conversation.

like

We can be friends, OP..

like

Sometimes things just stop working, out of no fault of yours or theirs or anyone's, but just because. Some people change, and some people don't, and inevitably, some things between those changing and unchanging people will stop working.

Whatever her reasons are, it probably has more to do with her than anything you said or did. It’s true though, you really shouldn’t have slept with her dad.

I feel you. I have a friend I’ve known since I was 4. We’re 32. She seems to only pop up in the last few years when she needs something from me. It’s been hard for me to acknowledge that I’m the only one putting in real effort even though it’s obvious to my other friends. It’s hard for me to “give up” when we’ve been friends so long. But I’m at that point because there’s little reciprocation and I genuinely think I didn’t do anything wrong. So 🤷🏻‍♀️

Going through it too OP.. i recently started trying to meet new friends and forget about people who don’t put in the effort.

Also sometimes you grow apart and conversations are difficult to maintain since you don’t have anything in common anymore

Related Posts

Anyone in Chicago want to hangout as a group. Need more friends. (31/F)

like

Is there a polite/gentle way to talk to your boyfriend about the fact that he has gained a lot of weight in the past year and needs more physical activity in his life?

I am not a very shallow person — he was already on the heavier side when we met. But when I look at photos from just a year ago, it’s clear he’s put on a lot of weight. I am worried about his health. I don’t want to overstep or make him feel insecure. Just wondering if anyone else has ever been here.

like

Are there some in this group that are here to chat as well? I’m a married M, but wouldn’t mind a friend that’s here to chat

likefunnyuplifting

Boyfriend has seemed to be dropping a ton on me lately, even after I got bad news that my company is t doing so hot this week and layoffs are approaching. First it was that we may be moving to another state for his job, then it was that his brother may need to move in with us for a few months after he graduates

It’s just a bit overwhelming at this time and I’m not sure how to communicate through all of this being thrown at me. 3 yrs together and we were friends for many years before that.

like

Anyone else sickened by Amy’s use of her black kids as props? You didn’t have to tell us that those two black kids were adopted, but way to make them feel different.

like

Has anyone ever been in a mostly platonic relationship? I don’t like to label myself much, but I don’t really like intimacy and don’t really like romance. Some people would say I’m asexual/aromantic, but unless that too is a spectrum, I don’t think I fit squarely into that group. As I get older, I’m realizing I’m feeling very lonely. It would be nice to find someone, but have it be platonic (any gender/sex). It’s weird, I know. It’s hard to articulate as well. Can anyone relate? 😭😭

like

Has the overturning of Roe v. Wade significantly impacted anyone's relationships? I lost two friends who were pro-life and on the verge of losing another. Wondering if I'm being too rigid in my perspective or if this is normal in Texas

like

I really dislike most of my boyfriend’s family. We’ve been dating for 5 years and I want to get married to him but I don’t want to have to spend holidays with them or have them be around my future kids. Soon I have to figure out if I want to take the next step or break up and it stresses me out

like

So I have this friend who refuses to get vaccinated. Whatever, his choice. However, our favorite bar just started requiring proof of vaccination to get in. We just found this out last weekend and it ruined our plans. Should I keep going (to this bar and others like it) without him, or be a “good friend” and only hit up spots he can get into?

like

My marriage is beyond repair I think. Husband just said we keep having the same conversations over and over in the past year about things we’ve been trying to fix. Is a year enough time? 11 years together for reference. And I don’t think his statement is true - he literally mentioned one of those things last week that he was happy about. I just can’t do it with these vague statements in arguments.

like

Has anyone started a new job while expecting a child? I'm thinking about it but could use some input from people with experience.

like

How would you respond to this note sent home on my toddler’s daily report from her in-home daycare provider. Mind you she didn’t say anything to me in person about this. Plus my daughter started saying “no daycare, no friends” when we tell her it’s time to go / ask her if she wants to see her friends.

Post Photo

So here is my dilemma:
- based in the UK
- opportunity for lateral internal move (culture&engagement) or stay where I am (reward). I am mid level IC struggling to progress due to flat structure so considering lateral move then hopefully up from there.
- 2 primary aged children, currently have flexibility in current/new role too
- Husband just got accepted on a international rotation which means I will be single parent for the short term.

What to do? Go with the unknown or coast comfortably?

like

Alright so I have been with my partner for several years and recently she said that she wants to get married. Im Happy with what we have now and don't feel the need to get married. Why do people get married? People all around us are getting married and engaged and I feel like that is weighing on her but when we drown all that out and it's just us we are happy!

Thoughts on convincing gf to stay? 27M dating 28F for ~1.5 years. We knew each other in HS and reconnected during the pandemic. Everything was so connected, compatible and hot, and we planned a life together. We thought we met the loves of our lives. We moved to NYC in January. Lost intimacy and connection. She’s unwilling to work on things. Such a genuinely talented and beautiful woman, but has trust issues and depression from being overworked. Thoughts on convincing vs surrendering / leaving?

Thinking about divorce. Wife had an affair 3 years ago that I haven’t been able to move past. Been married 11 years and have two kids though. Restarting individual and couples therapy before I pull the trigger. Anyone else been in a similar situation? Should I blow up the family if I can’t get beyond this?

like

For those that have a nanny: how did you find him/her? Been having no luck with nextdoor, care.com and sittercity. I need a part time nanny two days a week. Anyone in the LA area have a referral for me? 😀

I'm not sure how Fish Bowl works, but hi! I was wondering, is it just me, or sometimes insurance companies require so much from the families we work with? I have a kiddo who is required to do early start for minimum 9 hours a week to be eligible for services. Then they are recommended 25 hours of services per week.. I feel the parents are starting to get concerned due to the amount of hours the kiddo working. Basically almost a full-time job for a kid who's barely 2... thoughts?

At my uncles wedding in Madrid I remember lying down on the grass in the courtyard after their first dance and crying, my Dad came and saw me, laid down in his suit beside me and asked what was wrong.

“I know my boyfriend wouldn’t dance with me like that at our wedding”

And we just lay there as I cried, and then got up. Had a drink.

Said boyfriend left years ago, and now I have a wonderful man who just asked me what type of dance lessons I want for our wedding next year.

Don’t give up.

likeupliftingfunny

I’m Elizabeth and I’m in Las Vegas. I’ve been teaching ECSE for 14 years and it’s my 18th year teaching (i taught resource for 4 years). I love my littles! Who has taught the toddler crowd?

like

More Posts

Wait. Do attorneys negotiate salary? 3rd year associate in big law. I’m not referring to lateraling.

like

so I have trouble presenting myself well. I usually look haggard and I seem to wear out shoes and clothes at an alarming rate. Looking for a few good guiding principles to improve on this. M fish

like
likeuplifting

I have 4 years of experience. Ihave a job offer from cisco as Grade 6 software engineer with 17.8 lpa fixed, 1.34 lpa variable and 3 lakhs JB. I have another offer from publisis sapient with 21.5 lpa fixed and 1 lakh JB. Which offer should i take?

What would be the impact on GDS? will GDS also split in two parts and along with Remain co. And News Co. Accordingly?

like

Everyone is finding the guy who spread the news that there will be a market correction in hike 😂😂😂

funnylikeuplifting

RIP Christmas 🔪🎄

likefunny

Any recommendations for a coach (or even therapist) to help work through some career issues?

like

Whens the next nyc meetup?

like

Are there any recruiters from Putnam Associates here?

Any Insurance Broker Account Managers in Oklahoma (Health/Life/ Employee Benefits)? Would you be willing to share your salary information and any information about your work load/the amount of groups you manage and their size as well as your years of experience? I’m trying to determine if mine is comparable to what others receive. Thanks for any insight!

like

How do you probe display media’s value (in a last click world) using media analytics?

What is your best practice for taking meeting notes?

like

I have recently joined EY.
@can someone help me how to fill time sheet
And how to connect to EYRC Accenture EY

like

I charge $30 an hour

Can I leave Nagarro within one week of joining have received the laptop want to inform them before leaving.

like

On EAD. Anyone made the move to Canada, Europe, etc coz of the all immigration issues - H1B, DACA, etc. seriously thinking hard. limited options and so stressful to deal with.

likehelpful

Please DM me if you want a referral for a Developer or Front-End Engineering role at Efficio (Top Procurement & Supply Chain consulting firm). The more senior the better.

like

Anyone with June non-premium filing had their H1b approved?

like

Additional Posts in The Worklife Bowl

Seeking insights & any advice. F🐟 , late 20’s, never married, no kids; in a relationship with a divorced dad of 2, things are getting serious. So much that’s new for me & I’m wondering if anyone has been through something similar & how they navigated taking that serious next step? What things did you discuss (I’m thinking finances, family dynamics, involvement with kids, premarital counseling etc). It’s also an interracial relationship. I mostly worry about his kids, want them to be okay!

like

How to manage anxiety that crowds my mind and is basically because I need some sort of reassurance or validation that I’m doing well? I know I’m doing ok at work, but these thoughts crowd out higher order thinking and affect my performance.

likehelpful

I’m totally empathetic to people that miss offices and traveling. I understand your reasons why, I truly do.

For me personally, after non-stop weekly travel for 4 straight years, not traveling has made me realize how much I enjoy being home. Spending time with family, sleeping in your own bed, consistent exercise schedule, etc.

I for one hope consulting becomes more of a hybrid travel model (i.e. travel 1-2x per month or as needed). Else it won’t be for me.

Anyways, just some thoughts.

likeupliftingsmart

How do you let a director know it’s really not professional to keep re-scheduling the meeting? This is the 4th time a new time is proposed. And it’s one of my pet peeves.

likefunny

What would you ACTUALLY advise college students to do in terms of securing summer internships at this point?

like

Pregnancy test shows positive! Finally! 😀Really happy at the same time little scared 😟to go out at the clinic for any test in current scenario coronavirus..What next.. any tips?I hope it will workout!

likeuplifting

Last song you listened to.. go!

likehelpful
likefunny

I’m so worried I’ll get laid off. Last week I was slammed, but this week is slow, and I’m just so anxious...

like

Oil price falls below zero (for like a second), some mouthbreather on Twitter: “does this mean we get paid to fill up at the gas station?” 🤦‍♀️

likefunny

I’m not a sports guy, so I don’t care that sports are back.
If you do watch sports, how is it? Does it bring back any sense of normalcy?

like

So what have you learned after working side-by-side with your spouse for a week?

like

Thoughts about associates and in-house counsel (i.e., attys with no control) unionizing? I have friends who are required to go into their offices despite 'Rona! Collective bargaining helpful here?

like

At a small firm, place went through layoffs a few months ago. Been on the bench for a Month. Just feel I’m waiting for the doom invite to drop into my cal now. Sigh.

like

Anyone else planning to take at least a week off as soon as things get back to normal?

like

Thoughts on pneumatic vs. electric standing desks? Does extra weight make pneumatic desks any more difficult to operate?

Why do people from the Midwest/East move to Arizona?? Which city do you tend to see people flocking too?

like

Anyone has good couch recommendation? Had the current couch for a few years and the cushions are sagging. My back is not liking it. Is it a matter of time when all couches sag? After all we're sitting on it everyday.

like

People who have transitioned from consulting to industry or an objectively less demanding role (i.e working 40-45 hrs a week), what makes you feel good about your decision? After a decade in client services, I’m reaching a breaking point and can’t see consulting being sustainable with a young family. But I’m so achievement-driven that I’m having a hard time taking my foot off the gas; I know seeing peers advance once I’ve stepped away will be hard. For context, I’m F and ~8 yrs away from Partner

like

New to Fishbowl?

Download the Fishbowl app to
unlock all discussions on Fishbowl.
That was just a preview…
Sign Up to see all discussions
  • Discover what it’s like to work at companies from real professionals
  • Get candid advice from people in your field in a safe space
  • Chat and network with other professionals in your field
Sign up in seconds to unlock all discussions on Fishbowl.

Already a user?
Login here

Share

Embed this post

Copy and paste embed code on your site

Preview

Download the
Fishbowl app

See what’s happening in your industry
from the palm of your hand.

A phone with Fishbowl app

Scan your QR code to download
Fishbowl app on your mobile

Download app

Sign up for free to view this conversation on Fishbowl

By continuing you agree to Terms of Use and Privacy Policy

Already have an account? Log in

Sign up for free to continue using Fishbowl

By continuing you agree to Terms of Use(New) and Privacy Policy(New)
Messaging rates may apply

Already have an account? Log in

For account settings, visit Fishbowl on Desktop Browser or

General

Legal