Thinking about divorce. Wife had an affair 3 years ago that I haven’t been able to move past. Been married 11 years and have two kids though. Restarting individual and couples therapy before I pull the trigger. Anyone else been in a similar situation? Should I blow up the family if I can’t get beyond this?

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What about this affair bothers you? Was it with someone you knew? Did you find out on your own? Did she lie to you about it?

I found out on my own and she lied about it multiple times until confronted with hard evidence. Honestly, I just can’t get images of them together out of my head.

OP- have you tried individual therapy?
If i May be honest, i also had an affair during a time i was depressed and in a low place, and my SO found it the same way you did. He also couldn’t get past over it and we had a family.
Both child and i had to go to therapy and today i honestly regret it, but i understand why i did it. I had a lot of shit to deal with myself that i didn’t.

Give her a fair chance. For your own sake and your family’s. Just because you do it once, it doesn’t mean you’ll do it again. We all make mistakes.

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I have 1 one year old and have told my husband that I want to get divorced. He is being immature about the process and is just trying to make everything difficult. Sometimes he says he will move out, then he says the baby and I should, sometimes he says he wants custody when the real reason im leaving is his lack of interest amd resppnsibility toward our family. I can tell he is hurt and is upset that i dont love him anymore and want to get everything ready to make the exit easy. How do I start?

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