Fellow young adults, any advice for “growing up” and joining the adult world? Graduated school ab a year ago and have been working ever since. I’m really struggling to enjoy the adult world. It’s that weird phase of life where all your friends have all gone, you’ve left home, life is work work work. Going home is a mixture of sad nostalgia for the days that are no more..Feels like ages 1-21 (I’m 23 now) was another lifetime. Anyone else?

Find something interesting and fun to pursue besides work. Build strong interpersonal relationships. Set achievable goals for yourself.

24F and feel like I’m finally seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. It has been really hard. Work is such a big part of our lives yet it’s not life. So many “friends” were never your friends in the first place, or are now going through their own shit and can’t be good friends to you, or are just too far away to come over for a movie on a Tuesday. Maybe things at home aren’t that great either. You forgot what you like to do for fun, but sometimes you have all this new free time you don’t know what to do with yourself.

I don’t know the answer yet, but more than ever before, I feel like I know who I am. I know my values and what’s important to me in the people I choose to spend time with, I know my worth, I know what kind of life I want. Consciously or subconsciously, I have known all of these for awhile. Too often, however, I chose to ignore them to “fit in” with other early twenty-somethings and to do the things I was “supposed” to be doing. I am now finally embracing who I am. It took trial and error and many lessons learned the hard way, mostly just repeated slaps in the face from people I thought were my friends but were really just fun.

I don’t mean to sound dramatic. It’s just been very complicated yet very simple to really look inward and embrace myself. Post college is hard. We’re all just trying to figure it out. It takes time, but it’ll come :)

Holy crap this is me (23M)… You just revived my existential crisis

I feel like it’s about living the griefs for what your life could have been - all the lives you didn’t live because you chose this one.

It’s simultaneously about embracing the new things coming in, the new experiences that show you what you like/dislike, becoming aware of your own self in a out-of-the-protected-bubble life. Becoming aware of yourself in the real reality is so precious.

It’s also about remaining truthful to your long-term goals and keeping this long-term vision alive, making the small steps to get to it.

Good luck on this process, cause it’s painful, but it’s also beautiful to see yourself growing up with your being your own “responsible adult@

Seriously assess your relationship to substances, that helped me tremendously.

Consider a move, too - the shiny glass box life is alluring, but you might find a stronger community in the more neighborhood-y areas of your city (NYC - Brooklyn, Chicago - Logan Square, Wicker Park, etc)

Find somewhere to belong! Make sure to pursue interests outside of work, join a rec sports league or a church group or do local theatre, this is the first time in your life where your path is undefined and up to you. Try new things and meet as many people as you can

I recommend reading “the defining decade” by Meg Jay 🤝

Set goals. Then your day to day doesn’t feel as empty. I had a similar issue when I graduated.

Same age as you and I was in one of my worst mental states this past year. It didn’t help that I moved to a brand new city across the country all alone leaving behind all my old friends and family. Things have been looking up though and I’m starting to see who I am going to be for the next phase of my life. My best advice is to truly face what is making you uncomfortable. Is it loneliness? Lack of substance in your life? Low self esteem? Then go from there to try and solve it. Mine was all 3 of those so I had/still have a lot of personal work to do lmao

It really is such a weird phase of life. I find friends through art classes & volunteering. This stage of life can feel lonely because it feels like you don't fit in super well anywhere atm. I feel what you're saying so much.

I feel this. If you need a friend in tampa, hmu!

Find hobbies and things you enjoy to do it can be hard to find your footing I’m still learning two years out of graduation. I would say it’s not a race find ur own rhythm to make the time outside of work fun. Could be something small or bigger

Find a place where you can live within your means but still have fun things to pursue. I'm in a similar boat: 24M, graduated in 2020 and am working in a capacity that I don't hate. For me the struggle is building and maintaining interpersonal relationships. The more cognizant you are of your development areas the more effectively you will "grow up." There's probably an alumni network you can tap for advice and connecting with peers. Don't stay up too late thinking about it!

A big part of life is discovering what you’re passionate about and what YOU want to make part of your life.

I viewed adulthood as a new beginning - a chance to do whatever you want. That kind of freedom is scary at first, but once you start going out of your comfort zone and find hobbies and communities you really vibe with, it’s awesome!

I’d say a good balance for a young working professional is:

Exercise 3-4 times per week
There are so many options nowadays, with studios and boutiques for every physical passion and interest whether it’s martial arts or cycling or yoga or whatever. Plus your company probably gives you a stipend to use for wellness!

Creative: 1-2 times/week
Find something you enjoy doing creatively, like photography or music or whatever, just do something where you can create.

Community: at least 2 times a month
This is super important; the more you can do good for your community the easier you’ll feel fulfilled. Part of growing up is realizing that you should contribute to society in some meaningful way, so starting with doing good deeds for the community however it may be can really help fill the “void”.

If you do these things I promise you you’ll be surrounded by new friends and people who care about you and the impact you’re making on your community. That’s the freedom adulthood gives us.

Good luck friend!

I feel like I am about to go through this. Graduate in December and starting work late January. I will still be living at home tho

I joined a rugby team, gave me more structure in my week and has been very beneficial

New hobbies and therapy! Even if you don’t think you are in crisis, sometimes speaking to a professional can open up new thoughts and mindsets that really set you free from “feeling trapped” and stuck in the “work work work” cycle.

The 21 year old college kid to 23 year old professional adult transition sucks. It’s okay to miss the times that were and also feel optimistic about what’s a head!

24W, I spend a lot of my weekends with friends and family. If not all day at least a few hours. It gives me something fun to look forward to & with WFH I can go days without seeing other people so it helps the isolation.

I also have a book club with another friend that likes to read which helps hold me accountable to doing something I love (reading) and not letting work stop me from doing it.

I like sports, so I became a season ticket member to my local NFL team. I know every Sunday in the fall I can go out, get drunk and watch a great football game.

TLDR: re-evaluate your interests and make the extra effort to plan out your free time. Make plans with others if you struggle with holding yourself accountable. If you have concrete plans it creates that work/life balance and you’re more likely to take time for yourself to do things you enjoy. hope this helps!

25 M: you need people in you life.