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You’re going to get a different answer from every family you ask. It’s a matter of personal preference. We chose daycare for both kids (NYC) for the socialization and routine of daycare. We chose one that was a nice mix of play-based and montessori with a curriculum as we wanted their transition from daycare to PreK to be relatively easy on them. One isn’t better than the other. The best is the one that works for your family and your LO thrives in.
My first kiddo went to daycare at 18 months (would have gone at 12 months, but *pandemic*) and my second kiddo just started a couple weeks ago at 12 months.
While I’m sure we could now get a nanny for cheaper than what we pay for a daycare for two kids in a mid-sized city, here are why I’m on team daycare (not a judgment of anyone who chooses a nanny for their family!):
1. The socialization. They play and interact with so many kids and learn how to share and follow rules like sitting in a chair during lunchtime and not wandering around.
2. Daycares don’t call out sick. Our daycare is open year round (with some short breaks for holidays), 7am-6pm. It’s reliable and stable.
3. Curriculum. All of the daycare teachers have a background in early childhood education and do educational stuff that’s age-appropriate.
4. Proximity. Our daycare is in our city neighborhood less than half a mile away.
This is aligned with our family as well.
We chose to do nanny for both our kids because of the convenience factor. I love (and need for my/my partner's job) that she arrives and the kiddos can be in PJs and a mess and it's her job to get them on track.
The extra money is worth it to us for the convenience.
We live in NYC so our kids have great social lives in our neighborhood, parks etc. One is now 8 and in school, and the other is 2 and in preschool (mornings, 3 days a week). We still have our full time nanny. The balance is great for us now. When both kids are in school fullish time, we (sadly) won't be able to justify her full time then.
We chose nanny for our 1 year old till they turned 18 months old. I was wfh the entire time so it worked but the nanny used to cancel a lot which sucked. If your nanny is going to be consistent then great otherwise having a back up nanny helped me
We chose nanny. Kids that age don’t play with others yet- they play in parallel and you can get lots of that through play groups and library sings and such. A nanny is sooooo convenient. We sent kid to half day preschool at 2.9 and kept nanny for pick ups (and shuttling around) until kid was like 12. One nanny took other clients during school days, other was getting a Masters so part time pay was ok with her.
My first kid (now 5) I did nanny, but mainly because she was a micropreemie and it was unsafe for her to be in large groups for fear of getting sick. We sent her to daycare when she turned 2. My second kid, full term and now 2, went to daycare starting at 9 months. I don’t know if it’s personality or nurture here, but I feel as though my oldest is more thoughtful and mentally figured things out quicker and is more booksmart. Being with a nanny and also the eldest she got a lot more one on one time and was reading by 3.5 because she picked it up from all the time we spent reading books to her. She is more cautious in trying physical things and will spend more time thinking out a plan on how to do something and then accomplish it. My second kid is the opposite and the type that observes others and then quickly figures out how to do things. Hes more street smart and dives into trying things because he’s always observing other kids doing it and he wants to be involved so he just figures it out so he can join in the fun. I would suggest though sending your kid to daycare by 2. I’ve seen kids start preschool a bit older and by then had developed some social habits that were a bit harder to break than when they were younger and still developing.
Agree that it’s based on my kids heavily, but I also have seen lots of kids go through the daycare and seen how they’ve acted. Again, by watching how they interact with each other and with the teachers I can tell which kids started in daycare younger than others. Kids that have switched into our daycare at an older age but were another daycare before act much differently than kids who were in nanny and then came into daycare at age 4.
I think both have their pros and cons. Nannies are great if you want extra help around the house and to generally have a lighter load around childcare (they can pack lunch for the kids, get them into the bath in the evening etc.) but you’re also going to have to manage someone directly and deal with all that entails from sick days to directing them how to care for you kid in the way you want. I’ve had several nannies over the years and had good, close relationships with all of them but it can be tiring having to make small talk first thing in the morning, listening to personal problems etc. You have to be a lot more social with them than the daycare staff. (I’m not saying this as a complaint, but people have different levels of social comfort and having an extra person in the house every day isn’t for everyone.) Daycare is more seamless but the reason I never sent my kids until they were older is that kids get sick from daycare constantly, and now with Covid it’s another layer added. Even with the day care schedule being entirely predictable, I just couldn’t stomach the unpredictability of illnesses until my kids were older and had been exposed to a bit more.
Nanny for a smaller child under 3 is a better option hands down. From what I have read a smaller child thrives better with a single caregiver that’s always there for them, ideally mom, but obviously we all work here, so nanny is better from psychological development stand point for the first 2-3 years. Once they are old enough daycare is also a good option where they can learn to socialize, under 3 they have other skills they needs to learn that are more important then socializing (which kids don’t become interested in until a certain age too). This emotional development that happens 0-3 will help them in adulthood. You can read on what exactly and why there’s a lot of research on it. Nanny is basically a better substitute for a mom.
Daycare for both my kids from the jump and I could not love it more. They learn more than i could ever teach them on my own, and we have the added benefit of an amazing schedule, built in friends for both us and the kids, and an easy connection to sitters whenever we need.
Emily Oster says that the ideal age to send kids to daycare is 1.5
If you’re not familiar with her, she’s an economist that crunches the data on all things motherhood and shares what data says is best practice for various decisions
Have done both. Nanny for my first until 18 months then daycare, then daycare from the jump with my second, and we just went back to a nanny because we’re expecting our third and need the help. In my experience you Can’t beat the added convenience and perks of a nanny (laundry/light housekeeping) but I really loved the socialization daycare offered and am now struggling to replace that for my second child that we’ve gone back to a nanny. At 1 yr, with one kid my ideal if you have the means would be daycare + maybe a mothers helper or sitter for a few hours each day or few days a week who can help with pick up and some of the light household tasks. The other big pain-point of daycare is sick days which are inevitable and frequent so a good back up plan or flexible work environment is helpful.