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Similar situation, similar thoughts, but I’m leaving Washington. Bellevue was 4k a month for a 1 bedroom apartment with parking. Near the Oregon border you work remote on the Washington side but you can cross into Oregon for no sales tax. Job market isn’t as good in Vancouver/Portland though. I went rural paid off a place. I can go anywhere and it’s a couple hundred a month for heat/taxes. Sometimes I leave for 6 months or a year for work or whatever. I couldn’t save any money living near Seattle. My friends that do well are dual high income.
I don’t think you need to be in any specific state - but be around a metro area. I work a lot with software engineers. Many live in WA state like you noted but some live near Denver, Co - Columbus, OH - Austin, TX - and Minneapolis, MN.