👋 Hey everyone,

I'm a 25-year-old African-American female and , living in the beautiful city of Chicago. I've been finding the dating scene a bit challenging lately. 😕

I've tried the usual dating apps, but nothing seems to catch my interest or feel fun anymore. So I'm reaching out to this community to see if anyone else is facing the same challenges.

Is it my size that's the hurdle, or am I just not looking in the right places? Are there any go-to spots or activities in Chicago

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You mention your size as the possible reason — what size are we talking about here?

A lot of men have this issue too, but with their height. If a male asked this question here, but replaced “weight” with “height” I would assume he’s very short.

The good news is — if you think your body size, big or small — stands in way of your happiness, you can change it. It just takes work, discipline, dedication and patience. Can’t do that with height.

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Hard to say… if you feel that it’s your size maybe take some time away from dating and work on self care

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I think it's an issue for guy I met in Chicago

Self care would be the best bet
Dating apps are overrated and overrun by desperate men anyway

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Not necessarily. Just focus on doing things you enjoy. I’m 34 and after getting catfished a few months ago, I’m officially off the dating apps. I don’t know how much you still have in you but dating apps are tough for everyone 😔

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Your size/height should not be an issue! As long as you are healthy and happy that’s all that matters. There is someone who will love you for who you are and not even notice those things. Keep putting yourself out there intentionally and try to have fun with it!

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I would join a gym, and work on portion control to lose weight. Since you said you are a size 14, you probably need to lose around 30 pounds. You are young, so you could definitely bring your weight down and easily find a good man.

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Hey, Associate 1, I have to say, I’m impressed with your replies. Very diplomatic, insightful, and helpful. I’m gathering you’re F and I’d date you in half a second, if I weren’t probably double your age.

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Dating is hard here! Apps are full of men I font want to date lol

I’m a whole decade older than you, and thought it was my age that was causing issues. But after talking to friends and other people, everyone’s got the same challenges. Even men.

OK, I don’t want to p!$$ anyone off, but I don’t understand how people can think it’s easier for men on the apps. I don’t have hard data, but I believe there are many more men on those than women. Women get inundated with messages, and don’t have time to respond to anything approaching close to all messages. Sure, most of those are of the “You’re cute let’s do it” variety, or unsolicited pics, and it’s annoying. But messages from normal guys like me (reasonably OK-looking, decent, somewhat eloquent, etc.) simply get lost in the barrage. So, most men have a pretty dismal response rate. It sucks and it’s easy for us to lose courage. I get tired of reading the “Where are the normal guys?” questions in profiles. We’re right here! Those same people asking those questions, don’t respond when we send them messages. And I’m never bitter or annoyed in my messages, even if the receiver is one of those asking the question.
59 M, btw. With all my hair and very few grays. 😂

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