How can a woman best distinguish herself from her male colleagues? I am more qualified, have better relationships, and achieve better business results than him, but it seems unnoticed by the male leaders. What should I do?

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Ask your self—- why am I not noticed? I don’t know the answer in your situation. But in mine, it was because I didn’t talk about my accomplishments. So sprinkle in your accomplishments whenever possible. Men have no issue with telling folks what they do. You need to find a way to showcase your work. One on Ones: show your work. Presentation: show your work, Water cooler: Show your work. Of course, as women we can’t be brazen about it. But show your work whenever possible.

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All the time via email and by ops dept profits. I work for an overseas company where they make the final decisions of getting pay raises then CEO in the US has final say but I’m in CA where there are pay transparency laws to follow. My director hasn’t made a pay scale range and will not give me a raise with my title that is below the market.

I've been in a similar position, and I can share the strategies that brought me success:


1. Actively participating in meetings, making it a goal to contribute at least one meaningful thought when appropriate.

2. Balancing humility when sharing achievements and being transparent about areas where I needed support. Collaborating with colleagues to bridge knowledge gaps demonstrated both independence and teamwork.

3. Emphasizing documentation to highlight my contributions and track progress.

4. Engaging in mentorship roles, both as a mentor and mentee.

5. Seeking a sponsor who could advocate for my career advancement.

6. Collaborating closely with my manager to develop a succession plan and securing their support for presentations to higher-ups.

7. Making a point to be in the office during peak hours.

8. Prioritizing continuous learning.


These strategies had a significant impact on my career, and I'd consider repeating them.

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K1 is correct…I see this all the time ugh and I say well I’m not operations….HR is here to suggest/recommend/advise blah blah blah

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I would like to know too

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Don’t try to do better than him, try to do better than you. Bump up your professional appearance, stay a little longer in the office - make it an effort to ensure people see you, raise your hand for the tough projects (and do NOT volunteer for those that are historically “womens” projects- I.e. organizing a lunch, cleaning something, etc.). Really work and strategize to do things that will showcase your professional abilities. Don’t apologize for things that aren’t your fault. And be ballsy and ask for what you want, and ensure folks are clear on what you need from them. You can be kind, and still be a leader. Find a mentor. And some allies that can back you in meetings and in front of the boss. You got this!

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Best of luck to you Katya.

I think the theme running through all these comments is the same. He is probably talking about how great he is and all the wonderful things that he does, and doing things that you might feel like kissing up. generally speaking, we sit back and hope to be noticed which requires us to do five times as much as our male counterparts. so there’s two choices 1) you put up five times his business results and they will start to notice you. Or 2) you start to figure out how to advocate for yourself verbally, and publicly. I have done both. #2 is still harder because get bitch comments occasionally and it takes leaning a new muscle.

How women rise is a good book that talks about this.

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Male HR Director

When you self-advocate, how do you structure those conversations?

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Read the book “how women rise”

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Work on the relationship portion of the people you think don’t notice you.

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