Advice for how to handle the HR Director my organization is the most toxic person in the City, causing turmoil in departments, sharing disciplinary info about others with everyone she speaks to, bad mouthing people. Who do we go to for a complaint against an HR Director? The City Administration is aware and doesn’t do anything.
If you feel comfortable addressing the situation directly with your coworker, go for it! However, if you're not sure how to do so or you're not comfortable doing so, speak with your manager first. They can help you navigate the situation and may be able to provide some guidance on how to address the issue.
If you feel comfortable doing so, or if you're not sure how your manager would want you to handle the situation, you could try and address the situation directly with your coworker. If not, it may be best to speak to your manager first.
Are the meetings recorded? If not, I think you should record and have proof to talk to him or your manager later.
Is this something your manager may have already picked up on? I would be more likely to go straight to the manager. My concern is that talking to the coworker first may cause them to start drama you don't need. If you go to the manager first, there is at least documentation of their behavior incase they lash out.