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There’s a difference between being assertive and aggressive. There’s nothing wrong with asking for what you want in clear unemotional terms.
Being confrontational is shitty. Maybe just have solid reasoning and clear statements
It’s pretty simple. Follow the golden rule: treat others the way you’d like to be treated.
In general I don’t respond well to yelling or nastiness so I try not to put that on other people.
It’s an art. But my advice: if you’ve built a relationship with the person you’re talking to, it’s much easier
Posture/pose are key. Don't raise your voice, but be clear and assertive with your words. Don't go about banging your hands on your desk or wildly gesturing.
It's a fair question. Some people think it's the baboon enclosure at the zoo.
Oh, and do it with a smile. Kill em with kindness ;)
Yeah the difference between assertive and confrontational is key. Have conviction, speak matter-of-factly, and always be willing to compromise in order to reach a solution as quickly and painlessly as possible.
Also they may say “no” or deny you. If you remain assertive and not confrontational, you haven’t lost more than you came in with.
Context ?
I’d rather you come right at me with an axe than try to slip a knife in my back.
Confrontation can be good if it’s about the work, if I can disagree with everyone above. But it has to come across that way and there needs to be an acknowledgement of it after (I prefer an offer of drinks of course).
The more senior you get, the more you will have an obligation to disagree with others. Get used to it
A meeting ending, door slamming, waste paper basket throwing, invective hurling, berserker rage works best for me.
But, how come cajones didn’t get its gender equivalent?