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Your body will change over time no matter what. If you eat healthy and workout your body will look better with or without kids. It's how much effort you put into consistently taking care of your body. But looks fade anyway... might as well love yourself throughout the changes.
Having babies totally reshaped how I thought about my body tbh. I was so insecure about my physical imperfections pre baby and post 2 babies, I see the amazing things that my body did.
I exercise and eat fairly well and am pre baby shape. I dont look the same in a bikini but I’m ok with it.
Pelvic floor therapy was great to learn how to engage my lower core again.
It’s partially genetics and partially the work you put into it. Baby #1 I bounced back in <6months and was confident in my body - I ate healthy, worked out 4x/week. Baby #2 was a Covid baby, I didn’t work out much, ate poorly, and also entered perimenopause. I’m still up 10+ lbs but I’m not putting in the effort so I accept that that’s where I am now.
How common is it? Maybe 50/50? Some of it is priorities, and some of it is education. I've had 2 babies and put on 40-50 lbs with each pregnancy. After my first, I was SO nervous about losing my milk supply, I refused to even remotely be mindful of my caloric intake and did a minimal amount of exercise. Still, I got back to pre-baby weight around the 1 year mark. Now 4 months pp with #2 and I've been losing a pound a week with a hyperfocus on protein at work/home (don't think about it when I'm out or visiting family) and have been walking on my walking pad at work for an hour a day. Haven't seen a dip in my supply. I also did pelvic floor therapy after baby #1 which is helping after baby #2 too. No matter what, your body is going to be different than pre-baby but plenty of women find that they really enjoy that fact and you can decide, to some degree, what those changes are and if you like them.
Im convinced that a lot of this “babies ruin your body” messaging stems from how late we’re having babies now… women are having babies in their mid to late 30s, then attributing normal aging body changes to the pregnancy. If you look at pictures from earlier decades, most moms were in great shape, but they were also a lot younger. It’s totally possible to bounce back, whatever age you are, but it does take effort and gets harder to do with age.
Just had baby #1 via C-section in January and my body is pretty much back to how it was pre pregnancy! I do lead an active lifestyle and was very info fitness and weightlifting pre pregnancy. I did start going on walks about 2 weeks after delivery and steadily increased to a 1-hour walk per day, now I have reincorporated weights into my fitness routine.