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Where my arabs at
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This is called the “Netflix effect”. People see and think they have a lot titles to choose from… so you keep scrolling to find the “best”. You try something for 5mins, get bored and find the next “best thing”.
Exhausted from these short burst of dopamine hits and anticipation of the next best thing — we tire ourselves and exclaim it’s all trash or don’t have options that match our preferences… Perfection doesn’t exist.
I’m sorry this happened to you (and unfortunately might happen again), but remember, whatever is meant for you will not pass you. Take a break, refresh and back at it. Good luck.
I feel this OP, has happened to me before as well. Move on. These people want to fall in love before marriage. They want to feel something and fall in love like people do in the movies!
Chief
Connection is a very real thing even in a halal way. It’s important for a marriage. It doesn’t have to mean love.
The first time I talked to a girl was interested in for marriage… we spent 12 hours straight just talking on that phone call. Getting to know each other and all. Never happened to me before, but I didn’t fall in love with her either.
Connection is important to some and it’s not important to others.
Go to the gym
A month of texting?! At what point do people actually hear the others voice or meet in person?
Just out of curiosity, why text for so long without moving to the next step? Maybe a phone call? Or a meeting in person?
Also dating to marry and have been told this and told other people this many times for many years. I've realized phone calls are better than texting to get a gauge of connection. Text for a bit first, then phone call. You get a better feel for someone before meeting them. I've declined initial dates based on phone conversations not to waste any further time.
Wishing you all the best.
Hey Analyst 1, who exactly are YOU to ask such irrelevant questions about my dating life? So its haram to go on a date with a potential marriage partner? 🤦🏽♀️ Embarrassed for you to even bring up "zina"
Thanks McK for stepping in.
May Allah swt guide Analyst 1 to the right path.
Hard to build a relationship just through text.
Keep working on yourself and keep trying, and don’t put any interested woman on a pedestal.
I think you accept that that person doesn't have what it takes to make a strong marriage anyways. If someone is not willing to put in more effort, to invest, they won't make a good spouse. Everyone that says no is giving you a gift by opening up space for the right person, that's how I feel now that I'm married.
Sorry to hear OP - one side is always bound to get hurt. In my case, I’ve used “I don’t feel a connection” when sometimes I just can’t describe what it is. So it’s not on you, really it’s on them. You can ask for some feedback if they provide. But ultimately don’t lose hope in Allah and that each conversation you have will bring you closer to finding your spouse.