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Hi Fishes Ericsson global pvt. Ltd. has extended offer to me but they have asked to come and join at gurgaon location. I am trying to reach out to them to know if it is just about joining at Gurgaon or will i have to work from office only. But they are not responding?? I am confused a lot coz i have challenge for WFO bcoz of my father's medical concerns.
Can anyone please help to clear this doubt?
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My rule is no sleepovers ever. Works for us.
Tell the truth . Might be a good lesson for the kid.
I also disagree with this. I wouldn’t push friendships or sleepovers but at that age it is often up to the parents to help foster friendships and make friends. Especially with Covid the last few years, the kids sometimes need a little more help at this age to make friends. I’ve had parents reach out for play dates. One of the boys who asks for play dates and even invites my kid to his bday when it was only a select few in the class, and my kid has told me he doesn’t like him. Why? Stupid kid stuff and I don’t think he really means it because he plays nicely with him. Maybe they aren’t best friends, but no reason to be enemies. It’s the job of the parent to help your children grow and learn how to get along and make friendships with all different people. With that being said, if he’s indicated he doesn’t want a sleepover, then there shouldn’t be a sleepover until things change. I can guarantee you the next time his friends talk about the awesome sleepover at so and sos house, he’ll want to join.
We are a no sleepover family but you can just say “we are up for a play date anytime but only do sleepovers with families we travel with together. Thank you for the invite though!”
I was never allowed sleepovers as a kid and I always found it unfair but I now am relieved by that!
Eh, I’m of the mind to just tell the truth. Then the Mom is armed with all the information so she can decide what to do about it. I feel even if it may be hard for her to hear, it’s unkind to hide information about her kid from her. I would want to know if my kid was being overbearing and not sharing.
Coach
Yes
Reading this is very validating. My kids are toddlers but I am already thinking of when they are older and plan to be a “no sleepover” family. Our boundaries are our own. Love reading that here.
If the family is offended that you said no oh well. Your son doesn’t feel too comfortable around the kid anyway 🤷🏻♀️
Just tell the truth. Your child doesn’t feel comfortable staying the night because of the reasons you mentioned. The only other suggestion is that maybe the kid sleeps over at your house one night so you can observe the interactions. However, this may or may not be a true representation because being a guest is different than being in your own house; though kids tend to be pretty consistent so who knows.
My parents were always more open to kids staying at our house vs us staying at other houses. They were more in control obviously.
Could you have a slumber party at your house along with the 2 brothers your son normally sleeps over with? That way if there is an issue, you can see it yourself and bring it up directly to the parent when they pick their son up.
If I was the other kid’s mom I’d want to know if my kid was struggling with sharing or being too stubborn around others.
I asked if anything happened to make him uncomfortable and he said the other kid just dictates what they play, doesn’t share well, and only wants to play video games the whole time. He told me he would be fine with a play date but doesn’t really want to stay the night again. ( Incidentally the parents are very social but have never invited us parents to their home, only my son). During the pandemic, I could easily decline but now things are loosening up the invites have started again. She knows my son hangs out and has sleepovers with our other friends kids (we are close to those other parents and have all vacationed together). This week, my son was sick so I could say no. How can I politely turn down her invites without insulting her or her kid and not stirring up drama in our friends group?
I wouldn’t go into not being comfortable with rules in their house, etc, if you’re trying not to start or get involved with drama. You can say a play date works that day but we can’t do a sleepover that night.
Subject Expert
I would suggest a play date instead. That would seem like a good solution for all. If this child is having trouble making friends and socializing, it’s good the mom is making the effort to arrange something with someone her son is comfortable with. And it sounds like your son is fine hanging out with the kid, he’s just not his favorite person and playing video games isn’t his favorite activity. Maybe it’s an occasional play date for a couple hours (and maybe at your house sometimes where your son feels more comfortable suggesting activities he enjoys too). And then if they hang out and your son is totally miserable, that’s obviously a different story. But as far as the sleepovers, I wouldn’t feel bad saying no at all, especially if your response is to suggest a playdate instead.
Thank you everyone for the suggestions. Lesson learned-I should have said no from the beginning like my gut told me but I didn’t want to be “that mom” and didn’t want to seem like we were excluding certain ones, now I’ve set a precedent that I have to walk back. For those of you with little ones on the fence about future decisions, it’s truly easier to be a “no sleepover” family from the start I think. I shouldn’t have to explain my decisions and even if I allow my kids to sleep over with certain families for certain reasons, it doesn’t mean I have to say yes to any other invite. Thanks for validating my concerns.
Subject Expert
Genuinely curious as to the “no sleepovers” families’ rationales. Anyone care to share? My son is still a toddler so I haven’t formed a position yet.
Coach
Well I just recently let my son do sleepovers again. He’s 14. I want to change my mind again because he is a total PILL when he doesn’t get sleep. So he has his fun and then I have to deal with the moodiness and yelling. He has been this way since way little so that’s why I say no a lot of the times. Plus certain kids I don’t trust or parents I don’t trust to watch them well enough. Most of the times the kids sleep over here with me. It’s easier to be the mean mom who always says no, only says yes very few times. If you always say yes, then it’s much harder to say no. Hope that makes sense!
I find it very odd that she’s invited him over so many times and would be questioning their motives
I think she’s just trying to help her kid make friends. She actually has three sons and my son is between this kid and her older in age but she is trying to force a friendship between the middle kid and my kid. The older kid is never involved in their sleepovers and is usually hanging with his own group of friends, so I think she feels like this kid is left out.