Related Posts
Recently got transformed into Big data,my first project,it's been 3 months,but completely over exhausted, completely mental pressure,not understanding anything,they are giving me completely other tools,can I ask a roll off in Accenture from the project, what can I do please suggest?Accenture Tata Consultancy IBM Amazon Tata Consultancy
Hold or Sell?
Chief
Rising Star
Hey Folks,
Help me to unlock DM!
Thanks.
Additional Posts in Addiction & Sobriety
Daily Reflection 1/21
Bowl Leader
Pause. Breathe. Proceed.
⏸ 🌬 ▶️
Conversation Starter
I messed ups no need help. Idk where to turn.
Bowl Leader
New to Fishbowl?
Download the Fishbowl app to
unlock all discussions on Fishbowl.
unlock all discussions on Fishbowl.
Bowl Leader
A few things come to mind:
1. Do you have any other sponsees?
2. What might your HP be trying to teach you?
3. We're all sick people, some of us are just further down the road of recovery, and we're all just one drink away from the gutter.
I mention #1 because "we can't keep 'em sober, and we can't make 'em drink", but by God they sure do keep us sober.
I mention #2 because, in my experience, the thing that frustrates me today is usually the thing my HP is trying to get me to work on (or heal or see in myself). Where, in my own life, have I forgotten that I'm actually powerless?
And I mention #3 because sobriety is often times the most difficult choice someone makes, and then they have to make that difficult choice every single day, over and over, for as long as it takes for the obsession to be lifted (if they're working the steps). And even then, the insanity can come back without warning.
A health dose of grace, plus some boundaries, is my recipe for troublesome sponsees. The situation usually sorts itself out, but you're allowed to say what role you play in all of this (just as long as it's not God). :)
1. Yes two others
2. Probably that I can't fix manage and control anything. Even people who claim to want it. This is a really helpful perspective.
3. Yep, thank you. Helps to remember that in working with someone who is messed up just like I am.
Thanks!
“I’m not a therapist. Call me when you’re ready to get back to work.”
Be patient, he'll stop calling soon enough. Your only responsibility is to be your best version of an AA sponsor, not a therapist, banker, or psychologist.
If he is not interested in your solution, if he expects you to act only as a banker for his financial difficulties or a nurse for his sprees, you may have to drop him until he changes his mind. This he may do after he gets hurt some more.
If he is sincerely interested and wants to see you again, ask him to read this book in the interval. After doing that, he must decide for himself whether he wants to go on. He should not be pushed or prodded by you, his wife, or his friends. If he is to find God, the desire must come from within.
If he thinks he can do the job in some other way, or prefers some other spiritual approach, encourage him to follow his own conscience. We have no monopoly on God; we merely have an approach that worked with us. But point out that we alcoholics have much in common and that you would like, in any case, to be friendly. Let it go at that.
96
Do not be discouraged if your prospect does not respond at once. Search out another alcoholic and try again. You are sure to find someone desperate enough to accept with eagerness what you offer. We find it a waste of time to keep chasing a man who cannot or will not work with you. If you leave such a person alone, he may soon become convinced that he cannot recover by himself. To spend too much time on any one situation is to deny some other alcoholic an opportunity to live and be happy.
From Ch. 7 of Big Book “Working with others”
When he asks me for my suggestion (I don't offer suggestions unless asked) he recoils at any mention from me about the steps. Comments like "ugh, not everything is about the steps" and "I need to do things my way, what's best for me and the steps aren't gonna fix my life" - my view is he should only be calling me if he wants my perspective on how I'd apply the program if I were in his shoes or share my experience when I've been in a similar pickle or mindset. I'm inclined to tell him it seems like he's not actively working the program, which he is free to do, but I'm here to help with the steps. If that's not what he wants perhaps he find someone else to work with. But I'd appreciate any perspective from the group if there's a way to be more helpful for this guy. Today he called me and while he was on the phone picked a road rage fight with someone where he got out of his car and threatened someone then wanted to talk to me about why I should see this from his perspective and I'm not interested in that. My sponsor says just answer and listen and don't worry about offering suggestions (even if asked). I find that challenging to then hear him say he's not making progress. Of course he isn't...