I have to fire someone for the first time tomorrow. I did all I could to support but there’s only so much someone can do if a person doesn’t adapt to feedback. Long time coming with a lot of documentation to support it’s what’s best for the business. But it doesn’t make it any easier. I’m devastated. The individual is lovely, has a family, and I feel so guilty. Any tips?

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I have walked out quite a few people in my time and I do have a few things.

Keep your own emotions in control. If you’re nervous, upset, etc etc it does not help the situation.

Allow the employee to maintain their dignity. Don’t make them clean out their own desk in front of people, walk them out discreetly.

Answer their questions as honestly and as transparently as possible. Don’t let them walk away wondering why or what will happen with health insurance, etc.

Shake their hand, thank them for their contributions, sincerely wish them the best.

It’s not the fun part of the job, but it is also where you can step up and make a bad experience better for an employee. Good luck.

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DHR1 has provided excellent advice! Allowing them to maintain their dignity will help them get through this. Arrange a time when they can clear out their belongings outside of work hours or offer to do it for them. Using the Exit Interview checklist is a good resource for ensuring you are providing all the information they need regarding benefits, equipment, PTO, and other employment issues.

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You're a good person & manager...that being said I think its important to think about a team as a whole...when one person slacks it usually means someone else has to step in and put in extra to carry an extra load they aren't compensated for. At the end of the day, its not fair for the entire team to keep a low performer... if you're getting a paycheck I'd expect you to live up to your role. Otherwise, I'd rather let you go to find something else you're good at and pay the rest of the team extra with the salary the company saved. It's unfair to everyone else who has to work harder, in my opinion, when one person can't perform. So don't feel bad...you're doing the right thing. Unfortunately not all job descriptions include being a lovely person and having a family...

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Love all of the above. When I first started in HR, and was an emotional wreck knowing I’d have to fire someone, my husband said the simplest thing to me: “You’re not firing them, they’re firing themselves”. Meaning, you’ve done all you can to right the ship, but in the end, they’ve made their choices (didn’t listen to feedback, didn’t improve performance, whatever). This statement helps me keep things in perspective and not take it so personally.

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Write down your talking points. It's going to be an emotional conversation and having thought out notes will help you stay on track.

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