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Honestly, if I had a family, I wouldn’t take a job with 90% travel unless I hated my kids.
He didn't judge anyone's decision, he gave his opinion about what he would do
Take it easy PwC 4, don’t mean to upset you since, you know, it’s not even your post.
OP ended with “please advise” so here goes:
Your kids are 2 and 3 years old, your wife works odd hospital hours and your are going to be gone M-F every week??? Are you serious? Sorry to burst your bubble but that is insane man, really. 2 and 3 year olds together is a full time job right there, and I know because we had 5, 3, and 2 and it is madness. And you aren’t even dropping that on your wife you are dropping it on an au pair who you don’t even have yet and don’t even know where to hire one?? Over your head man, just saying.
Also, dude, 2 and 3 are crazy, yes, but also like the best!! Its an awesome age, it is incredibly fun and inspiring and magical and you are going to be gone M-F. I don’t know man. Sorry but that is my honest opinion, please take a look at other options. This plan sounds horrendous.
Read Lean In w your wife and then make decisions that are good for all. Hire an au pair or a home housekeeper/daycare provider til you figure it out - she’ll need the help if you’re gone M-F
Wow. These comments are outrageous. Probably all from people who don’t have kids
Deloitte 1: Please elaborate on that point. What’s outrageous ?
Do you mean 80% of the time? Just asking because if it’s 80, it means 4 days a week. Which you could negotiate to 3 days a week (Tuesday or Monday night to Thursday). If your wife can take one or two of those days “off,” that means you only need to solve for one or two morning. Others have mentioned resources, but is there family or friend that may be able to help for that day or two? Maybe you can switch off with them carpool style for the days you are home? Just a thought.
OP - if you are traveling 90%, can you see if there’s an option to relocate you closer to family?
I will put family first. This is an important phase of your kids life and they need the attention of both their parents. How will you justify missing your kids childhood just for the sake of career. Try to talk with your partner about this. I am sure most of them are considerate else try to look for other opportunities inside the firm or outside. I am sure with pwc brand and you being promoted recently there will be enough opportunities open for you in the market. Good luck .
No. I grew up here and my parents were at work often before I woke up and often returned after I was asleep. I turned out fine and appreciate everything my parents did to give me a good life.
How many parents out there work in advisory where travel like you’re describing is common. I am very surprised by the comments here!
Behind every successful man, there is an even more successful woman. Point being, if you are going to take the opportunity and if you are to be successful in it, you can’t do it without your wife’s help. Work together to find a solution that works for both of you. Someone mentioned ordering groceries for delivery, dry cleaning, etc. if you do this, give your wife the flexibility to outsource household work so she is not overwhelmed. Also think is the new salary going to outweigh additional expenses of outsourcing and day care / nanny for kids? Decide what your “Ive had it, this is enough” safe word for both of you. If your wife has had it, she is allowed to use the safe word and you have to respect it and find a new job in 2 months and other way around.
Lean on other parents!!! My husband and I went through this a couple years ago when schedules changed and it has been a lifesaver. There is someone who is willing take your kids at 5:30am and take them to school some mornings IF either you and your wife are available some evenings for soccer/karate/band whatever the hell else we sign our kids up for 😝. I mean...sitting and waiting for a finger painting class to be over from 6:00-6:45 is only fun for the first few weeks, but it’s worth it if someone else is solving the morning commute problems. You feel a little desperate at first but you will find your “carpool parents” that you can rely on and vice versa.
My husband will grab candy, little pens, or basic tourist gifts from whatever airport he’s going to be in for our kids and the carpool parent’s kids so everyone gets excited when he has to travel extensively. As a parent...who doesn’t love when someone outside of family thinks about their children?!?!
Keep in mind that this only temporary...get your kids into sports or some other school sponsored activity. By the time middle school hits, bus drivers take care of after school and evenings. You’ll actually get to have more conversations with your wife that aren’t kid related logistics.
Cont... my wife works in the hospital so weird scheduling, any advice on how to manage. I don’t want to turn the role down. Please advice
I like the role because it’s an opportunity to do what I like and would help our finances in the long term. She loves what she does, so it’s all good. I just don’t want to turn it down and be resentful later. It’s just tough
Have you thought about whether or not your family will have resentment later? Follow your dreams, but I advise you have some very blunt conversations with your partner about her expectations as well.
You have a lot of input from others, and maybe someone else will be able to relate to this point. My father wasn't around as much when I was young, and I definitely wish him and I had more memories when I was younger but as I am older now and I would like to think more wiser, I completely agree with my dad's choices because he is the reason why I was able to do and have different things. Also, his sacrifice is why I disagree with my mom's criticism of him making those choices.
I think that’s a couple of great points KPMG4. Based on what info AC1 shared, hard not to find a lot of fault with the dad.
I appreciate all the responses, it’s been eye opening. A ton of good questions and points have been asked and raised. Ultimately it would be between me and my wife to decide what’s best. Never said anything about neglecting my kids, just difficult to turn down an opportunity to advance my career. I guess I never really thought about all this when I decided to fall in love and have great kids.
I get you OP it’s basically like saying there are NO parents in advisory in public accounting.....I mean most of it is a ton of travel
Aren’t most advisory jobs in public accounting like this....why is 90% so shocking all of a sudden
Sounds like it’s not a role to be excited about.
People love to talk about raising kids when they either don’t have any or are shitty parents themselves. I look at it like this, I have 2 daughters , age 3 and 2. That I adore, more than anything. But who’s going to provide ? They’ve gotta eat. And I’m sure they would appreciate their father being there when they’re a bit older and can remember , because he worked his ass off for them when they were babies. If the job will change you’re life, and is a good opportunity , find a way to make it work. You don’t need to do it forever. And at the end of the day, not to be negative, but people separate and divorce anyway pretty commonly. Then you’re not seeing your kids anyway. Life is unexpected. Put your kids in a position to succeed , even if you’re not their constantly. My father was barely home and I don’t appreciate him or love him any less because of it. And he did it working a shitty job making no money. But without him working that hard, I would’ve never went to college and graduated. Having kids doesn’t mean you throw your life out the window. They will grow up and become adults eventually and at the end of the day, being a valuable, educated , hard working, resource for them can pay off huge when they’re older. Just make sure to be a part of their lives now as much as you can. Good luck OP. God bless your children.
I’d urge you not to cast aspersions on those of us that disagree and to avoid calling us sh#%*y parents because we disagree. Yes, they ‘gotta eat’ but OP and spouse are doing financially fine by OP’s own admission. That stated, while I know he COULD do it short-term, it’s easy to get sucked in and turn-around to realize you’ve just missed a decade (or more) of living. I just feel that no position, no matter how exciting it may seem, is worth what’s being given-up.
RAS1: That is sacrifice for a greater hood which I salute. OP’s sacrifice is for material gain. AA1 said parenting doesn’t mean throwing your life away. I agree but it should mean putting the kids first. That is all I am advocating. Those that seem to view parenting as akin to just another client engagement to be balanced with everything else have it backwards IMHO.
People are all upset but they work in public accounting. I see people in my office, WHO LIVE AT HOME FULL TIME, come in early and stay late. They rarely see their spouse or kids because of the demands of this jobs. These judgements are ridiculous.
Honestly not sure what the big deal is. Most ppl in PA never home anyway.
See if the daycare workers (especially the ones who are in your kids classroom) are open to come in early and get ready/take your kids to daycare on those days your wife has early morning shifts. I’m assuming it’s 2-3 days a week, not every day? This way the daycare teachers would get extra $$, and they are already heading to daycare anyway, just need to stop by at your place first for extra 2hrs or so
This sounds good
I have personally seen a lot of people posting on Facebook babysitters groups about hiring people to come to their house early in the morning, wake up and dress the kids, and take them to daycare. Offer $20 an hour and you should get some bites.
I swear I see it on a daily basis. It’s super common. Obviously check references and all that.
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And there are many other au pair agencies you can work with. This is a chapter in your life, and during this chapter you need some extra help, get the extra help. Also, explore fly out Monday morning/fly back Thursday night. That way you are only out of the house 3 nights, and are home to help the other 4. It helps with balance while on a heavy travel schedule.
At some point, extensive use of a nanny is the outsourcing of you parenting! Yes, get help with all that you can but please remember career ambitions should not run roughshod over your kids. Balance is key! Just my advice .
But you CAN. You are making a conscious decision to take the job and putting money over time with the kids.
How far will you be traveling? Can you schedule your meetings later in the day? Does your wife work M-F? Does your wife have any flexibility to change her hours? What’s the ages of the children?
I will fly out M-F. She may be able to trade days but we still need help on days she’s not available. Kids are 2 and 3 years
PWC 8 is right, parenting is hard... the exact reason why the family deserves two parents. Why does his wife have to take on the full responsibility of the children?