I opted not to go to our holiday party this year, but I have extreme anxiety about potential repercussions! Am I making the right choice? Context is in comments below. Would appreciate any insight!

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Who would take a holiday party this seriously? Why would it affect your promotion? Are you saying that you don’t go into the office enough and that this holiday party is a way for you to go to your office?

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I understand. Best of luck sir.

I never go. It’s not the environment for me. I am open about it with my coworkers. No one seems to mind. I show up in ways that work for me.

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There are always a few people who can't make it every year, either because they have other obligations such as a pre-arranged vacation, something comes up or there's a family emergency, or they simply don't want to. It doesn't reflect badly on them. I never go, and I'm quite open about not going because I don't want to.

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Yeah. Just say the travel was too much with all else that you've got going on, and not being able to go into the office the day of. People will understand.

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I know plenty of folks during my time at a few companies that didn’t think going was for them. It’s okay to set boundaries in a corporate space. You are definitely not obligated to meet your coworkers outside of a work setting. Show up in a way that works for you - if you don’t want to attend, it doesn’t make you a bad employee and teammate.

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I totally wouldn't worry. I'm in a smaller biglaw office, and we have one remote associate who lives a 3-hour drive away. No judgment when he skipped out multiple holiday events.

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I live in Northern MA and my company is based in Hoboken, NJ. I’ve been here a year, but because of family responsibilities and wedding planning chaos I’ve made it to Boston area events but not to the office. The holiday party is on Wednesday and the company set a cap on reimbursement of $400 - they reserved a hotel room but I had to cover the flight. (It’s 5+h by car or 1h to the train station and 4+h by train otherwise.) Conveniently (🙄) they sent out an email last week telling us we can’t come into the office on Wednesday because of a board meeting, and since I’d be heading home mid-day on Thursday, it feels silly to take such a big trip only to sit in a hotel room for most of it and only spend a few hours with coworkers (none of whom are on my direct team). I’m going down to visit elderly relatives on Saturday and have a lot to do before then, so although I had originally said I would go, I decided last week that it was too much and let the organizer know. She seems ok with it and my manager is on my side, but I worry about the impact this could have on promotions, etc. Would going down in Q1, when my family’s schedule is pretty dead, help counteract any damage this might cause? Am I overreacting?

Btw I live in Hoboken so happy to show up in your stead LOL

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