I recently moved out of my boyfriend's apartment this past Tuesday, March 17th. He wanted me to wake up at 6am this past Saturday (because that was the ONLY TIME he said he could help me take a few things to my new apartment before his barbershop appointment that was scheduled for 2pm). He said he needed to come back home, take a nap, & wash his hair before his appointment. It was super frustrating because he didn't help me take anything else to my apartment besides THAT DAY. (CONTD)

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Why on earth would you expect the guy you are leaving to help you move????

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You moved out of his place into your own place? Sounds like a breakup. You don’t go from living together to living separately and still date

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I’m not sure, but it sounds like he still has to fulfill a renters contract, which you have left him to do alone. Not sure if he already lived there and you moved in or if you signed a lease together. It sounds like you broke up with him (but are calling it something else) , but still expect him to give up his Saturday to help you move away from him. No offense, but I wouldn’t react well to you expecting anything from me either.

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He doesn’t owe you anything. You are expecting a lot from someone who probably feels taken advantage of already.

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OP - you may want to reflect on this. You paid him the rent you owed to stay at the apartment. That is not a favor you did, it’s just what was fair. You seem to be expecting a whole lot from one person who may not be gaining any value in a 2 way relationship. Self sufficiency is key before you start or stay in any relationship. Wishing you well

There is no DEI in relationships. You move out on your own you move stuff on your own.

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But is there a trash story?

(CONTD) I still have to pickup my Work Computer monitor that I left at his place, swiffer mop, a few other small bags of things, and some food items in the fridge & freezer at this place. Should I let him know that I plan to stop by either today or tomorrow to pickup these things and should I give him back the key he gave me?

He even asked me last week "so your commute and you being closing to your job is more important than me?"

Last week, he was not saying much to me for a few days & whenever I asked him what was wrong & tried to touch him, he said he was tired.
Well, I finally got him to open up to & start talking to me. He finally revealed to me what was bothering him & said "Dont tell ppl stuff and then change your mind about it. One day you say you're gonna do one thing & then the next day, you say you're going to do something else. I feel like you're trying to mess me up. Then you said " I got the apartment. Then I'm thinking I gotta figure out how im gonna get 600 dollars in 2 weeks.

I replied to him & said "I'm sorry you feel that way. Im not trying to intentionally mess you up.
I told you I would still give you money to go towards some of next month's rent. I just explained to you how I only received Half of a paycheck for my first check & would have to wait until my 2nd paycheck (when I receive a FULL PAYCHECK) to pay you."

Btw, he has not offered to help me take anything that needs to go with me to my new apartment to my car--LET ALONE help me move at all. He said "I don't really want any movers in my apartment." He also said "you don't really have alot of stuff & you don't live that far away to be making multiple trips to your apartment to drop stuff off." 😒

How would you even respond to this??? Its just frustrating. All I really need is a moving company to transport my items (clothes, food, extra bags, etc) to my new apartment using their truck or van. But they all charge for a minimum of 2 hours of labor and I was quote $340 to $414 for it--which is insane. I don't even have any furniture to move smh.

He criticized me for being quick to get the apartment because the leasing agent told me about a deal. I told him I did not qualify for the apartment that was more money because I don't make 3 times the monthly rent. He said to me "so you really think NO OTHER apartment that is as affordable as the one you got now is going to be affordable in a few months?" And I told him "no, because the rent prices tend to increase alot when the weather gets warmer."

I decided to move because I just started a new job & have an extremely stressful & hectic commute. I wanted to be as close as possible to work especially during my probationary period. I need to make a great impression and not struggle with my commute & time as much as possible. I expressed this to my boyfriend & told him i was trying to find an affordable apartment as soon as possible so that I would have an easier commute--especially since I have to be at work at 8am.

He knew about how I was looking for an affordable place to live for several months. So I don't know why he's acting so bothered and surprised now. He has not expressed or discussed any plans of wanting to get married to me in the future at all--so does he think im just going to wait around for him Forever?!!

I told him the Leasing Consultant at the leasing office of the apartment told me to apply for the apartment ASAP because the units go fast & the prices fluctuate. I did exactly this because I also noticed that then rent was going to be over $1600 if I tried to move around March or April. I don't make enough money to afford an apartment that is more than $1480.

I told him I would give him $250 or so for utilities since I would not be able to give him the normal $680-$860 i normally give him-ESPECIALLY since I am no long getting unemployment.

I was recently unemployed from September 2025 to Earlier this month & was STILL paying him money for my portion of the rent.

Because you left him short for the rent that he will need to come up with unexpectedly, you should grant him some grace and ask when would be a good time to pick up your stuff. Take a friend and pick up all the stuff that you need to in one afternoon and then give him his key back. Consider your relationship over and you will need to take care of these kinds of things yourself moving forward.

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Rachel - if he needs to take a nap so he can be energized for a haircut, I think you know that there's something wrong. He might need to hibernate to be able to help you move, but I wouldn't count on it. (Btw I once had a gf who expected me to help paint the apartment she was sharing with her sister - I declined, and not because I needed a nap. I wasn't living there, and felt that it was beyong the scope of a boyfriend's responsibilities.)

Months later, she dumped me ("I think we shouldn't see each other for a while") just before I was to meet her parents at the wedding of one of her relatives. Years later, I found her on Facebook and she had totally changed (no longer a vegetarian, and she had found God). She also apologized for her immaturity. So, I guess I was correct in declining her painting invite.

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