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Not so soft feedback: You will remember that reason when you don’t have a job, cannot pay bills, and are in serious financial deficit. If you are dissatisfied with how your life is turning out, be an active participant and change it. Feeling sorry for yourself is not going to move the needle. Take some of that money you don’t care about, buy a plane ticket to some country that has always interested you, spend a week or more there letting culture, food, and history overwhelm you, distract you, hopefully inspire you, and reset the negative loop you are in. You sound like you are in mid-level life burn out.
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I feel you dude. I just turned 49 with no love or family. But I've also been literally living in a tent in the woods and this is better but only slightly 🫤
The 2 cities I've been homeless in have ordinances against living on the streets, on the sidewalks, and in the parks, and even against panhandling. My advice: Because the government is God's ministers, ordained by Him to punish evildoers and praise those who do well, find some honest labor to make a living wage with, and get out of the tent and into some stable housing. When I was a fiction-writer, I wrote rebellion against the government and against God, but I didn't know that until it became apparent that my fiction was false accusations, that I wasn't writing future events, and that I had deceived myself. So I destroyed all the fiction I still owned, and became homeless, and then got a job affiliated with my local government, so I can influence them toward law and order and can better influence the people I serve. And I'm really close to getting some stable housing myself.
Do you work too much to form meaningful relationships? Do you have unrealistic expectations of others?
The answer to these 2 questions has to do with the occupation you've chosen. There's good jobs and there's jobs that do evil. When I was a fiction-writer, I worked too much to form meaningful relationships, because I was working in an evil and deceitful occupation. I also had unrealistic expectations of other people, because I reinterpreted them via the lens of my fiction; so I either flattered them by making heroes based on them, or I overtly hated them by making villains based on them, but I came to see that whether flattery or overt hatred, both are forms of hate speech.
So I ditched my fiction, because if I kept writing it I'd probably come into conflict with the government, because they don't mince words when they fight against false accusations. Romans 13 and 1 Peter 2:11-25 say, after all, that the government is God's ministers, ordained by Him to punish evildoers and praise those who do well. So now I've got a job affiliated with my local government, so I can influence them toward law and order, and can better influence the people I serve. And I've made new friends, because I've told them the truth.
I know about not knowing what I'm working for. I used to be a fiction-writer. At first, I didn't know what to do with fiction, but then a few years into it I thought I knew what I was doing. However, I started editing my fiction, and got lost in the editing, because I was trying to edit myself but finding that I couldn't change from the false accusations that I was developing via the fiction. I couldn't live with myself anymore, after over 20 years of fiction, because the lies came full circle and hit me like a ton of bricks.
Then, I realized that God didn't let me accept defeat and leave the world. He left me here for a reason. So I dug into the Holy Scriptures, which say they're the word of truth and contain the words of life, which I so longed for. Well, the Holy Bible says, in Romans 13 and 1 Peter 2:11-25, that the government is God's ministers, ordained by Him to punish evildoers and praise those who do well. So I destroyed all the fiction I still owned, and got a job affiliated with the local government, so I can influence them toward law and order, and can better influence the people I serve. Now I know who I work for, and what I'm working for. What a relief!
Not everyone will agree with me about that, but I put it out here so people can know that what I experienced works.
And, No, you don't want to live on the sidewalk. In the city I'm staying in right now, the local government has ordinances against living in public places like sidewalks and parks. Don't run a foul of the government, because they're God's ministers, and even if they don't catch you right away, be sure your disobedience will find you out sooner or later.