I'm not sure where else to post this but I think I need to break up with my boyfriend. We've been exclusively dating for over a year and a half and neither has ever said "I love you" to the other. He'll go away to the casino with his friend every weekend and be completely unresponsive even though he reflects as "online" on IG. I have a gut feeling that he's blocked me on Facebook even though I can't prove it.

We've talked about the future many times & he has stated that he's will to relocate...

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...with me when I move in a couple years but then doesn't respond to anything in a day.

He has told me a couple times that he's depressed, and I completely understand where he's coming from, but why not open up?

Idk......I really don't want to do this but I don't want to be a push over either...

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Sounds like you’ll be better off once this is over and some time spent finding yourself again.

don’t lose yourself

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SA1 I've mentioned it to him before but haven't had a sit down serious conversation. He's the stereotypical old-school Italian where men don't talk about feeling because that shows weakness. He's gotten sooooo much better since we first started talking years ago but as someone who goes to therapy weekly, I just wish he'd open up about these things.

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So I hear you. I’m with my partner for nearly 2 years and neither of us have said I love you 🫣 but we both are pretty shy and we express love in other ways. Working up to it 🤣 so it’s about whether you feel it or not. I think most people will say ‘you will know’.
Also I just read your other comment that he’s old school Italian, damn mine is too. 🥲 or new-school, idk, he likes to think he not typical.

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For me personally the “I love you” is less important than the other things, if I were in your shoes (which I’m not). I’ve been with my partner for 2ish years. He displays some classic avoidant behavior and stereotypical “male” ideologies like not opening up too. But for me, I have decided I’m okay with it (for now) and the only thing I can control is myself. If these things bother you and you’ve communicated it to him, you should decide if you’re okay with basically waiting for him to grow with you. What would bother me the most is going to the casino and basically going MIA… and blocking you on FB. Depressed or not, that’s not being a partner to someone. I’m sorry you’re at this crossroads but as someone else mentioned, you’re in the drivers seat. No relationship is perfect and there isn’t a cookie cutter guide to who the perfect partner is, but it boils down to what you’re willing to be okay with. Whatever decision you make, I’m sure it will be the right one for you.

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His actions aside, do you love him? Is he a good partner to you? When you make a list of traits you’re looking for in a partner, does he check those boxes? You’re in the drivers seat of your life, not him.

EP1 crazy enough, he's typically a great partner. We work different shifts but we've both gotten better with compromise in the past year and he's supported me through some truly tough times. I've always had a "type" before him but he's not even close to that type and we just mesh so we'll.

Some days I can honestly see myself spending the rest of my life with him but others he just drives me up a wall. Like my mom would say, what man doesn't, though 😂

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Additional Posts in Heartbreak Help

Any suggestions for how to keep my mind and body busy? My job is painfully slow and not challenging and I’ve started to re read old texts and have OD’d on Matthew Hussey videos. What are practical things I can start to help turn this next chapter? Besides job hunting! I feel like I need to throw myself into something worthwhile that I feel good about! I just don’t have inspiration or motivation right now. I feel flat.

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I’m so happy this bowl exists 🥹🫶🏼

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It’s such an unsettling feeling to want to hear from someone and not want to at the same time. I’m shocked I haven’t thrown my phone against a wall. My mind wants a Rage Room but my body is exhausted and just wants sleep.

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I just need some Brugal rum, Aventura or Romeo Santos songs on repeat all night…

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Anyone with anxious attachment tendencies? Going through a breakup and I keep thinking about how I pushed him away and then am down on myself, replaying memories in my mind. At the end of the day, I think we were a bad match from the beginning and misaligned, but so hard not to beat myself over my anxious attachment during my relationship

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Why do we always tell people “Be the best version of yourself before starting a relationship?”
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Has anyone dealt with coming to terms with an emotionally abusive relationship? I struggle to admit this (because more drastic examples come to mind), but my therapist mentioned that things like yelling/throwing things/blocking me from leaving the room are also abusive traits my ex demonstrated. It makes me feel alienated from myself — like “how could I have allowed myself to be treated like that?”. Also feeling ashamed to tell anyone

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As much as I know I need to go through this. Today - I just felt so lonely. I was clingy and needy to strangers and just want to make some sort of physical connection with a human.

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I made a mistake. I talked with the ex this morning. He said he misses me. And that while he walk talking to the other woman, he wished he was talking to me instead. And when he saw that I didn’t respond to his texts, he drank a shit ton. And then called this morning.

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I need to block him.

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I hate that I still want to hear from him. I just have no idea what I want him to say or what I want to say. I feel like if I get anywhere near him he’ll be able to sense my pain. Are we sure the no contact rule is only 21 days? I feel like I need 21 months.

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TLDR: Getting over your ex of 2.5 years ghosting you after they said they wanted to reconnect.

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likehelpful

The biggest thing I keep running and running around my head- after 8 months, why did he drop me? When he texted ending it l….it wasn’t me, like we weren’t us, his words were from someone else, like I didn’t matter. It doesn’t matter how much it wasn’t about me, how he chose to end it, and that’s what crushed me. Who I thought I knew was wrong. I want to know how close he was to loving me.

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3 months post breakup… I seemed to be healing well and all the sudden this week I took a huge step back and feel heartbroken all over again. For context I was in a 4 year relationship including 1 year engaged and had to call my wedding off due to his infidelity. How can I shake this? 😔

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