Related Posts
Enthusiast
Bowl Leader
More Posts
Enthusiast
Bowl Leader
3/10 brief TA:
Do you use a roth or traditional 401(k)?
Additional Posts in The Worklife Bowl
Updated my wifi SSID
Chief
Taylor swift new album
Enthusiast
Visual Storyteller
Chief
Conversation Starter
New to Fishbowl?
Download the Fishbowl app to
unlock all discussions on Fishbowl.
unlock all discussions on Fishbowl.
Family are the first to take advantage of you just because y’all are related… I say charge them.. but offer the F&F discount
Lmao at SSM1 projecting their feelings about couples wanting to go away on holidays while they have kids. What’s so wrong with that? If the people sign up to help, that’s their prerogative. Who forced you to watch their kids mate? You sound like an unreasonably selfish person that regrets their own decisions and now projecting on others. Calm down.
Rising Star
If you aren't raised in American culture, more often than not, you find reason to say thank God! This is one of them. Very strange to charge your own family for something as simple as watching their pet. WEIRD!
Chief
@SM, do not bring your BS to my inbox, you desperate attention seeker.
Kinda rude yea
If they assume your time isn’t worth anything, then they’re being rude
This is a subcultural thing I feel like. I’m American but in my family those who need the favor offer to pay and those providing the favor refuse to accept payment. You play this back and forth until you have to hide the payment somewhere they’ll find later (whether or not your the one paying or receiving) or you claim a previous favor owed to you or a future favor you know you’ll be asking of them in return. Otherwise, You only submit to whatever the other party wants if they’re your elder and insist more than like 3 times. Even then, you find a way to pay them back asap so you can go back and forth all over again. Lol
Soooo I don’t think my outlook would be applicable to you since it’s better to just say no rather than ask for payment. My culture aside, just know your family and do what makes you comfortable.
Do you ever ask your parents to do something for you? If so, do they charge you for it? I would just say “no” next time.
Nope. Your time is valuable — charge them with a small discount (if you want). If they refuse and call you selfish then that puts a lot of things into perspective for you to review. I know the first commenter said American culture is “weird” for being like this but American culture teaches you your worth and to always put you first. Other cultures teach you how to be a worker/follower; I know because I come from other cultures. KNOW YOUR WORTH!
Other cultures screw you up mentally because youre supposed to let your family mentally abuse you, manipulate you, gaslight you, all because its a “respect” thing 😂🤣 im from other culture too.
Dude, just watch the dog without charging them. Can the dog stay with you in your apartment instead of you staying at your family’s place? I would never charge my family (or close friends, even) to watch their pet while traveling. You may need a favor from them in the future anyway, so from an entirely selfish perspective, it’s to your benefit in the long term to watch the dog for free. Maybe your family should invoice you next time they take you to a birthday/celebratory dinner so you see how ridiculous this must feel from their perspective.
What is your relationship with your parents? And how transactional is it?
We should establish on the basis of that. I’d get shunned and lost out on so much more “value” if I even brought this up, but that’s my dynamic with my parents’
I’m a firm believer in the idea that everything balances out one way or another. Just like if you leave work early sometimes, but also stay late sometimes. With family, you do for them and they do for you. Charging them would set an odd standard.
How about you stay at her house for the two weeks, bring your dog to live over there. Sister provides an adequate setup for you and stocks the fridge with a list of food/drink that you will provide. That way, you are less inconvenienced and don’t have to drive back & forther multiple times recruiters day. If sister doesn’t like that, then screw her. She is not worthy of you doing any of this for her.
Interesting... Just out of curiosity... Are you paying for food while there or are you using their groceries? Are you doing laundry there or going out to do laundry? Because 2 weeks of free groceries and laundry seems about even to me. IJS
Part 2.. out of curiosity.. is this their dog, or your dog they inherited once you went to school/moved out?
I'm not sure what your family culture is like but being judicious about saying no when something is going to bother you deeply later may work better rather than be the one to introduce the idea of charging if they have not thought already to initiate it. I know in some families, they hate to hear the no, but at some point, they must handle the fact that you may be busy especially when it's not even time to bond that they're offering, but getting free services from you where they don't even see you at all. You may live close by but you may not always be home!
The situation may be different if there are reasons that you'd be home all day and they know that, but even then, I don't think people should assume you are up for keeping someone else's pet based on their schedule, especially if the pet is unfamiliar to you or you're uncomfortable with the pet (or have allergies).
It is important to be generous to family members where you can. If people have sacrificed for you, sacrificing for them is a form of reciprocating. However, I don't believe that having all the terms of how you reciprocate be determined one-sidedly by someone else is part of a healthy relationship, family or not. Ultimately you can consider how your family treats you and your time, and whether you think that they are at least appreciative and whether that's enough, vs another situation that may make you want to make different decisions.
This will come down to details that you'd know best, no matter what advice is given to you, but hope my post helped.
Show them your rate card
Idk what culture you’re a part of, but my family does this thing where if someone does you a favor, it’s understood that you need to give them something in return. The person doing the favor shouldn’t have to ask (and if they’re a relative and they ask, it’s in bad taste bc of this understanding) It’s not necessarily cash. For example, my grandfather watched our dog for a week and a half and my parents bought him a new lawnmower (the kind you can sit on bc he’s old- idk what they’re called). Comes out to about $70-80 a day but it’s less of a transaction because it was “thoughtful” but still valuable.
Chief
My mom does not charge me when she watches our animals. My parents stay at a second home 2/4 weeks most months, and I go over about 2-3x a week to check the mail & water plants. I don’t charge. We are exchanging favors essentially so it works out.
Now, if I had other family ask me to do pet or house sit, but they had never done it for me, I would consider charging. I pay a house sitter/pet sitter to stay in my home when we travel for longer than a few days. It is still a job even if it’s for family.
Ultimately it comes down more to what your relationship dynamic is with the people.
I don’t charge the people who also dogsit for me (sister/parents). Everyone else pays a fee. And I charge more to stay somewhere else. Family MIGHT get a discount, but only if their pets are well behaved
Yes leash walks. Good exercise at least right?
Sublease your apartment - there's your payment
Pro
Why do you have to stay at their house? Can the dog stay at your place?
I wish! Landlord doesn’t allow dogs.
It’s a acceptable to ask for payment, but also but tell them no, you can’t
Why dont you ask if you can have the dog stay with you instead?
My landlord doesn’t allow dogs.
It’s fair for you to ask for money, but it can also be seen as petty/rude if that’s your family’s dynamic (meaning you often do favors like this for each other). Both things can be true.