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OP - I found green tea helps me feel calm and awake. It is my go to instead of the 2nd cup of coffee.
Are you sure it’s the caffeine? This happened to me, and I found out that depression was manifesting as anger/agitation. Got a prescription for a low dose of lexapro and it has taken the edge off.
I also experienced the caffeine addiction (3 kids!) and anxiety/depression issues. Talk therapy is great. I found regular activity (20 min brisk walk), vitamin D supplements and doing things to care for me and bring me joy were a recipe for recovery. Caffeine in moderation is still in the picture.