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Subject Expert
Hyderabad or Banglore which one to chose.
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Additional Posts in Relationships
Dear Men - Need your perspective.
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Come on…seriously lol
Chief
Don’t worry. She’s just rolling around in the bed unclothed with him. She’s not cheating at all.
Pro
HAHA LMFAO!!!!
He’s not an ex because he’s a current partner
I think you need to have a sit-down, calm conversation. And I think your best approach is to avoid accusations (because as you say, you don't KNOW), but rather, focus on what you're feeling, which she really can't argue with. You feel the way you feel, full stop.
Discuss your previous marriage situation, which I assume she knows, but be vulnerable: talk about anxiety you're feeling now and the need to feel a fundamental level of respect and trust. Ask if she can understand where you're coming from, and how she would feel if roles were reversed.
Of course she should be able to have her own friends, including male friends, without 'supervision' but I think this situation demands a really thoughtful conversation, maybe more than one.
Thank you for the long and caring answer SM1. I am honestly not a jealous person by default, and believe the other should have freedom to hang out with friends no issue. Just this situation makes me unconfortable and just doesn't feel right (even if physically they are not cheating).
Just now she is hanging out with him, radio silence since 7p. We usually video call before bed when I'm in work trips. She didn't pick up, called twice. Its almost 1 am and I'm pretty sure she is still there... and typically she is one to sleep early, so whats so interesting in conversation that leads to long night hang out? Is it booze? Drugs? Or just fell asleep on his couch? Just neither of the scenarios is where I picture my partner being when I'm away grinding late at work...
Maybe I'm being controlling? I'm not used to dating, I'm used to being married on a stable relationship, in which my wife had full freedom to hang out with whoever, and like that with someone I fully trusted came infidelity...
anyways I need that conversation... a lot of anxiety ahead of it though
I can’t even believe I’m reading this.
I get it but I think you know your answer. It’s unfortunate but a huge red flag
That hurts. As someone who had issues closing off an old ex before starting a new relationship which ultimately failed because of that, I would just have an open and honest conversation that may get a bit confrontational. Point out how important this relationship is to you. Ask to see texts.
Never ask to see texts. If it gets to that point, you should already break up or seek couples therapy because you’re being triggered. Either the partner should stop triggering you or you should stop being sensitive to the trigger. Looking at texts does nothing except give an excuse to blow up the relationship without either person doing any inner work
This reads like a trolling post.. in the event it's not though, part ways. That is super toxic behavior and not something you want looming around when you're building a future. It will impact your thoughts, your motivation and your ability to be better. Calmly, politely but firmly lay down some ground rules if you want to stay together. Depending on how serious you are, if she does not let you read the text messages or go through pictures, including hidden, then make that your red line and walk away from this.
It is not a trolling post... unfortunately thanks for the perspective
This is definitely some type of cheating even if it isn’t physical. Firstly, have you brought it up with her that you aren’t accusing her, but either because of your history or just from what it looks like you are concerned? If she gets defensive or is obviously lying I would be gone.
Secondly, if the story is accurate don’t gaslight yourself in thinking you are the “jealous” one, this is clearly on her to explain and honestly she should know how it looks and initiate that conversation
Nasdaq 1, tou are picking my thread on where I feel this might be coming from. But yea I need to have this conversation when I get back from my work trip
nuke the whole generation
It’s weird. she can have friends but ignoring your calls and seeing someone she’s had relations with is sus. Just put it this way, if you did that, would she be okay with it like you are? I highly doubt it.
Having been cheated on, not once but twice. It’s time to have a serious conversation with yourself. From your comment, this is not what you want. It’s not what you deserve. An individual in a relationship should not be spending time with the opposite sex, especially alone, especially an “ex intimate partner!” I understand how agonizing this situation is, so if this is something you’re committed to, then have a serious discussion with her. If she gets defensive, it’s another red flag. Step away and re-evaluate your mental health and what’s good for you! Especially all the thoughts going through your mind while you travel. Good luck!!
so they have an open relationship- youre the 3rd party. dump her- you deserve better or At least wake up!! lol
I'm sorry this is happening to you. How incredibly hurtful, especially after you have been through this before. Some ideas:
1) Ask to meet him. Suggest that you all hang out for a drink or dinner and you will be able to gauge the vibe 100% if anything inappropriate is going on. If it never falls through or there's some excuse, end the relationship. She's cheating. It should be important to her to make YOU feel safe.
2) Determine what your standards are in each scenerio. For instance, are you ok with texting if you can look at the text thread at your leisure? Are you ok with them hanging out while you are out of town, as long as it's in a public place? Write them all down in a list if you have to. It is better to be overly clear than to leave doubt.
3) Have a sit-down discussion. If you have a hard time with this, write her a letter, but make your boundaries known. If she fights you on even one boundary, WALK AWAY with no contact. Let her think about which relationship is more important.
*On a side note, you may be over-thinking the "leave the room" when you call. I do that when I receive a call from anyone out of respect. The conversation between the two of you is none of his business so I think this one is ok. Now if she leaves the room when HE calls, get rid of her.
Hope this helps!
Does help
It’s ok, to admit that you’re a cuck!
Pro
Haha
I get it, my boyfriend (now ex) had a huge issue with me meeting someone I was also intimate with (also not a real relationship) many years ago. How it was resolved was a serious talk with emotional and relationship validation. You can’t control others. If what she does still bothers you , then it’s time to say ciao 👋🏼
Pro
People can remain friends after a romance has ended but it's tricky. The underlying reason is simply keeping that person as an option nothing more. To say - “oh we’re just really good friends now” is cliched. Why wasn’t you guys friends from the start?? Exactly. People be keeping in touch with ex partners as nothing more than a backup. Saving them for a rainy day. Women do it worse than men their just more discreet about it. As my ex once told me when we argued about why she was still talking to an ex lover and her response was as clear as day. ”I STILL HAVE NEEDS!” Enough said.
Recognize your partners wants and determine if that’s something you can tolerate or want for yourself
Run away! You are in for a life of suffering with this partner. Find someone who will consider your feelings
Pack yer shit and GTFO while your dignity still has a chance.
Dude, you know the drill. Unless you’re a cuck and like it, no shaming. Get up and walk away . Or go sit in your chair over there and watch. It doesn’t matter much to me either way, I’m single and loving it!
" Your respect is in your hands. Respect yourself. The world will respect you."
Whatever is yours will remain with you and whatever is not yours will be taken away from you even after you get it.