Just went through a particularly rough breakup that lasted 20ish days following a big fight following years of an incredibly close relationship. I’ve been completely no contact the past week. Would it be too soon to send her a Valentine’s Day card apologizing/ professing what she means to me? Would that be seen as manipulating?

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I think you send a note or ask to chat and discuss it. Don’t link it to Valentine’s Day. Try to separate what people see as a romantic day to celebrate vs. the discussion you want to have.

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Accenture, I think that's super sound advice.

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You ended things for a reason. It still hurts, but sometimes giving space and carrying on normally can help bring clarity — for both of you. Silence is a powerful weapon.

likehelpful

Hard conversations are worth having, if the the relationship is worth having. No texting-face to face interaction. Be honest and take your part

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I think it depends on the type of breakup. Was it a final decision you both agreed on? Or was it your idea or her idea? If it was her idea then you need to respect that and give her space.
Is the reason for the breakup something that can truly be fixed or is it a major life changing issue? If it is something you will never be able to both agree on then I say to move on.

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Her idea. I think things can be fixed. Words can be forgiven. We didn’t have any underlying relationship issues previously.

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I’m thinking of giving this a few weeks’ space before reaching out to her. Would appreciate any supportive words / advice!

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I know I'm 3 days late, but a few weeks sounds wise.

At that point, maybe drop her a text and she if she'd be up for something VERY low commitment, like a coffee at a coffeeshop on a Saturday morning. I do recommend something face to face, because then you can both see the body language, feel the vibe. You'll know very quickly if she's 100% moved on, or there is some space there for some kind of rekindling.

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If it was her idea, please wait for her to reach out to you. Doing otherwise is NOT WHAT SHE WANTS. Her silence is also speaking to you. Instead, go out on the town, look sharp, have a good time with all of the many single women that will be out on V-day, just make sure it's on your social pages so she can see it. It will be unexpected and mix things up, which may just be what she needs. DO NOT SEND A CARD. Let her come to you.

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I was going to meet my gf's parents at her cousin's wedding when she told me "I think we shouldn't see each other for a while." OK, not sure what I did, but whatever. A month later was Valentines Day, and I sent flowers to her office. She called me, and was very indignant, like "why did you do that?". I guess she had to explain to her workmates that the flowers were from a guy she broke up with, but was too immature to tell him the truth.

Understood! Makes more sense now

Please provide details on what caused this breakup.

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