Lonely AF sometimes. Program helps but only so much.

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Your present is not your future. One day at a time also means avoiding the alcoholic tendency to project, to think whatever we are feeling at a moment in time is our new forever. Be present in the now, the moment. Take steps, however small, to tackle the feelings of loneliness. AA teaches us we have much more power, control and influence over our place in the world and our feelings than we have ever given ourself credit for. If you aren't very involved in service within AA I would encourage that. Or even service, volunteer efforts outside of AA. Service is fulfilling, and surrounds you with ppl of quality IMO. Good luck, I am pulling for you.

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I understand and have been there. I'm two years and four months sober. Had a LOT going on while I was getting sober: marriage falling apart, living 480 miles away from a mother with dementia I was helping to care for, making the trip one week a month. Laid off during that time. Therapy all at that time. It was very, very hard to find any light in the darkness. Like a lot of alcoholics I don't make friends readily, or easily. Mom passed away a year ago, last October. Started a new job in Jan of this year, in a new city/state to be closer to family. Marriage legally ended in April, although technically over in June of last year. The process to re-build has been slow. But. Found a great weekly men's group mtg where I live now. Have my own place again after living in Airbnbs for six months. Spent Thanksgiving with my brothers and their families. Attended my 40th high school reunion the Saturday, the first such event as a sober person. I'm present, I feel things, I don't hide or run from those feelings. I have a first date this weekend with a person I am very excited to meet based on our conversations so far. I talk more openly and freely with my two adult sons. It isn't all rainbows and unicorns, company had layoffs a month ago, my mgr. and several peers let go, my little dept dissolved. But I just fight to live in the moment. I'm not religious, but I trust and turn things over to my higher power as much as I can. Started drinking at 13, didn't get sober until I was 55. Not that it matters, but was very much a functional alcoholic, but very, very numb, dead inside. It feels good to be fully alive. Clear eyed and clear headed. Present, vulnerable, feeling, nothing to hide. Tell myself that my worse day sober is still better than my best day drinking. Peservence is key, the program, the steps, the fellowship - they are tools that work, as long as I pick them up, put them into action. My greatest hope is that the darkness lifts for you, that the promises begin to reveal themselves to you. It is possible, do not give up on yourself, you have immeasurable worth and value, and you can and will find the ppl you need in your life to dispel the loneliness.

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More meetings, more service, and your relationship with God should be all you need to take care of that loneliness… is what I’m told if I ever mention this topic. But I totally get how you feel. It comes in waves… we may not feel this way tomorrow or next week.

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