Mentally exhausted from work and kids and no break, and constantly feeling like I’m about to have a breakdown. Overreacting to every little thing and just not able to handle even the slightest issue. Starting therapy and meds soon (tbd) but in the meantime, how do I get my partner to understand and be kind? Ever since I told him what I’m dealing with I feel like he’s been so cold and distant.

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I’m so sorry you’re going through that! I definitely understand where you’re at. Sounds like you’re taking the right steps though, which is awesome. Your partner will come around, and as you change your own world that will shift things as well. Just try to stay focused on yourself when you can and carve out a little time. I always feel a lot more positive about all aspects of my life when I am more grounded and feeling better about myself. You got this!

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Thank you for this thoughtful response ❤️

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Hi, good for you for taking the right steps to take care of yourself. Therapy has been life changing for me. 🙏🏽 Sorry to hear your partner isn’t supporting you. What helps me is telling my husband exactly what I need at that moment. For example, “Babe, I’m really stressed out because ____. I need you to take care of the baby while I take a breather.” I wish you the best. ❤️

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It’s ok. You’ll get it with practice. 👍🏽

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My husband and I went to therapy together when my daughter was very small because I was completely overwhelmed and he wasn’t doing nearly enough to help (in my mind). During our first session, the therapist asked if I had told him exactly what I needed help with? I started to argue that he should just know (shouldn’t he!?). Well, as it turns out, no. He wasn’t anticipating my needs the way I anticipate his and he’s really not like that. But the therapist suggested that I write down exactly what I wanted - on a schedule - and that we could agree to when he was on duty and when I got a full break, etc. It worked and helped SO MUCH.

Many years later, I have to very deliberately state my needs and when I do, he is always willing to accommodate. My husband is not a mind reader like me ;) but he is more than willing to do his fair share.

My advice: speak up and ask for exactly what you need. If your partner is a true partner, he will step up. Good luck!

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Thank you for this advice and reminder!

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Admittedly I’m not great when my partner is down. But it’s because I don’t know what he needs from me. After observing what he’s like when I’m down, that made my map for how to help him. Like, a decade later, I’ve figured it out. So, have you told him specifically how to comfort you?

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Sounds like I’m similar to your partner. I’m paralyzed in those situations without direction. Seems like you’re on a path to coming together on this one! 🤗

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Ask him how he is dealing and if there is anything you can do to help him, trade off giving each other some “me time”. If he doesn’t take you up on it and says he is fine, then you just tell him, well you do need it and are struggling and need some more support, and you will do the same for him when/if he needs it!

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