My almost 2 year old daughter keeps hitting and sometimes even pulling hair of other kids. My wife and I have no idea why our toddler is so violent :( is there any suggestion? Please please help.

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Whoa sc1. Judge much! OP I would just continue to get your child in controlled situations where other kids are around for short periods of time (swimming, music class, art, play area, etc). And keep reminding your child about the ways that we behave. Make sure she is well fed, diapered, Napped, and generally happy before these activities.

Also the other posters are right. This seems like a big deal now but it will totally work itself out as your daughter grows up! Try to find some amusement and humor in it while continuing to reminding about good behavior.

I have 3 boys all in school now and I remember my first was a late talker, the second was a cry baby and the third was a bully. And we freaked out about each of them.

All three are thriving now. My oldest is a debate champion, my second is a black belt in karate and on a travel swim team and my third tested into an elite gifted program and is just about the most empathetic kid you will find. He wants to be a counselor!

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I have a 7, 3, and 1 yr old and went thru the same with the 3, then 2 yr old.
Every kid is different, but positive reinforcement was really big for him. Giving opportunities to "help out" with cooking or cleaning etc, so that he could get much needed praise for helping, being nice, & doing good.
It also was good use for his energy, he's like the tazmanian devil.
Don't get me wrong, he still has his moments where he even looks at me cross-eyed like he's gonna do something... But all in all, he's a happy, sweet ass, nuclear-battery-stuck-up-his-butt kid.
Keep ur head up, keep correcting the bad, love the hell out of her good. You'll be fine.

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How much time do you actively spend with them?

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1. Figure out a routine to burn energy
2. Make sure you work on communications with her. For example, my son didn’t have a full vocabulary and that made him upset because he couldn’t communicate. So plz try simple signs or basic words
3. Give her attention the right way. Maybe she gets ur attention by going crazy.

Some suggestions from a dad with 2 kids :) hope this helps

Final point.. it will pass :) hang in there

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No TV, no IPAD, no screentime.

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It’s usually due to them being frustrated and not being able to express themselves. Best thing to do is really try to understand what they want so they don’t get frustrated. Will go away once they can more easily communicate.

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I have 3 kids. It’s just a phase. Kids are jerks sometimes. Don’t worry too much. There will literally always be something you are working through. Just part of raising kids.

All good advice here for helping your LO accelerate through this phase.

My oldest was the worst about this with other kids. She was very verbal, would use her words to express her needs, and then get frustrated that other kids didn’t listen to her. So she would get physical.

Your response at this age shouldn’t be about punishment. Talk about the way those actions make other people feel, and talk about what alternatives there are. I recommend the books “hands are not for hitting “and “ feet are not for kicking “

My middle one never went through this phase with other kids. She whacks her older sister and pulls her hair, but that’s because her big sister is legitimately a butt head to her

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Agree with BCG2. I remember when our kids transitioned from the baby/toddler phase to talking The got violent. It was like they were really frustrated they couldn't communicate their needs appropriately so they got angry. When they were finally able to actually talk through it (even truncated) thru mellowed tremendously.

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Maybe our family should stay home now. Toddler has no reason to do this to other kids. I feel terrible.

What is she watching on TV?

Wife is a stay home mom and we do out best to love our toddler. My friends say that this will all go away around age 2.5 but I don't know if there's anything I should be doing other than being firm and teaching her that hitting others is bad

My 20 month old started doing this out of nowhere. We’ve been trying to hold firm and not give into his demand when doing that and try to not recognize it as an action to render it as something he does with no outcome

Interesting. Same with us. Out of nowhere she started to hit others around 18 months as well.

All - thank you guys for sharing your experience. Our toddler somewhat stopped hitting others. We think it's due to her communication gap. What a relief but really appreciate everyone's insights

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