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Every marriage has its ups and downs. The older I get (I’m nearly 40 now), the more I’m convinced that there’s no such thing as a perfect marriage and the ones that make it only do so because both sides commit to it everyday. You’re going through a rough patch. Things will get easier and better. There will be better days again.
(Also, sorry things are so hard right now.)
I’m so sorry. And I’m in a similar boat. Give yourselves grace & take breaks as much as possible. You’re not alone.
Lots of marriage struggle and they make it, so hopefully you guys will find a path forward. In the meantime, maybe talk to your spouse and ask if you guys can ignore/set aside your issues for the time you’re there for both of your sanities and then just tackle them head on when you’re back? You guys can set up a safe word to ask for space even, a word that would be innocuous enough but noticeable for the other person to know that you’re asking for a break.
Check with your organization to see if they have an eap program and get set up with a counselor
Practice treating each other with patience, kindness, and respect. A lot in my marriage changed when we stopped inadvertently taking out our frustrations on each other with the way we interacted.