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Sounds like she needs to work on herself before she's ready for a relationship.
Don't need to fix everything and I understand there will always be things to fix.
But these insecurities come from within and lack of trust. A strong foundation one has before getting into a relationship will ease these things. Weak foundation causes weak relationships.
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I was like “you can work this out” until you said the social media part.
Time to move on
Yeah, this is really weird. She has massive trust issues.
Agree this is a her issue although I applaud your empathy. Like dating a musician it takes a very self assured person to date a consultant. Show her the memes of what people think I do vs what I really do. Good luck.
Honestly this is not an issue for you to resolve if you've done nothing to break her trust. She needs to go to a therapist to work through her trust issues instead of taking them out on you.
Sounds like an issue she needs to work on, but also good on you for validating her feelings and trying your best to address the concern. If you’ve done your best to show that you love her, and you didn’t do anything that would break the trust in normal means (i.e. flirting with people etc), then I honestly think she needs to realize that it’s an issue she needs to resolve. Like others have said, she needs to go see a therapist and build her confidence and find her inner peace. It’s a void that no one else can fill.
Run. Run far and run fast.
She is welcome to ask for more of your time, but she is not welcome to dictate what you choose to do with your time or attention. One is a need she can state in a relationship, one is anxious control of your actions instead of controlling her own self regulation..
She needs therapy so that she can state her boundaries clearly and then deal with her own emotional response to the consequences.
If she says I need you more and really means I need you to do less because I'm insecure, she's the jerk.
Of course, if she says I need you more in a healthy way and you ignore her needs, you are the jerk.
The one caveat here is that if you are constantly shirking the mental load of a relationship, home or family and she is carrying that by default, then you are putting her in a situation where it is hard to self regulate because of constant overwhelm, and her behaviours may be a symptom of mistreatment by you outside of you socialising. Be honest with yourself about this and check with your own therapist to make sure that you are aware if there are mental load implications at play.
She’s insecure and needs counseling.
I think travel is one thing; you can’t really change that without a different project or job. But team dinners and happy hours in your home city is a balancing act.
I had a situation where my ex was going to team dinners and happy hours multiple nights a week and staying out late each time. It’s completely fine for her to not be happy with you doing that. That’s a boundary she can have. You’re in a relationship with her and are supposed to spend time with her.
Maybe go have a drink with coworkers and then go home. Maybe just tell your team you’re unavailable a couple nights a week and go spend those at home. None of the team dinners or happy hours are mandatory and sounds like you need to set some work boundaries as well.
It’s not unusual.
For those that don’t understand the lives we lead it looks like it’s all
Just hookers and blow and fancy dinners.
My spouse came from this so no issues but also isn’t prone to insecurity.
Has she been cheated on before? I’m guessing yes, or someone she’s very close to has been.
I met my husband, who was not a fellow classmate, during my MBA, and all the MBA events really triggered him because his ex-wife cheated on him. It took time to get him to realize that I wasn’t going to cheat on him like his ex. Strategies that helped:
- Calling/video calling when I got home
- Introducing people when I could, or showing photos when I couldn’t (& explaining what annoyed me about their personality when my male peers were good-looking). It gave him confidence that I only had eyes for him.
I didn’t have any issues with social media, but posting a lot of both of you might also help. She really needs to work on her insecurities though because a true partner would trust you and be supporting these career activities.
Tell her to grow up.
Won’t end well. Step out before you get in too deep
Move on. I did this and divorced. Does not end up well. Just move on.
Imagine compromising your career opportunities at the whim of someone whose frontal lobe isn't fully developed 🥴
How many years have you been dating?
Sounds like she’s for the streets.
In many cases Those that accuse are the guilty ones. Be wary.