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An Afr Am man asked why male Caribs and Africans have access to certain types of Afr Am women. The answer is interesting https://www.quora.com/Why-do-Immigrant-Black-men-e-g-Nigerians-seem-to-find-dates-with-higher-class-Black-American-women-than-I-do-a-Black-American-male/answer/Paris-Walker-5?ch=12&share=5a829587&srid=6yai
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Hi OP, I don’t have any recommendations. But want to send you my best wishes for a happy future! It sounds like there’s already progress (new job and diagnosis helps!). And your willingness to seek help together is such a positive movement to progress.
I hope things continue to improve!
Suggest working with someone who is Gottman Institute trained/certified. Also recommend reading through some of their materials (books, workshops etc) to tide you over (and maybe even start some repair) until you find a couples therapist that is a good fit for you both. https://www.gottman.com
Wish you both the very best!
Livehealth virtual therapy. Super cheap too with insurance, like $25 copay
www.psychologytoday.com was a useful resource for me when I was looking for a therapist. You can dial in what you’re looking for in your area.
Your insurance may have a list of providers in-network. Choose a handful that specialize in what you’re facing, then Google them individually for additional reviews/insight, then reach out. Don’t be afraid to switch counselors if they don’t feel right/you don’t feel comfortable with them. It does take a while to build trust with a provider, but they’re not one-size-fits-all either.