Out at a bar for a friend’s bday and the bill came and they demanded they pay. The wife put on the party in a back room of the bar for reference. She, and I quote, said “I’ll pay with my money” and he took the check away and said “no, we’ll split it, put half on my card”…they are married, it was weird, everyone looked at them confused.

I don’t get it. How is it not all “their” money regardless of whose “personal” account it’s in? You’re married…?

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Never mix finances even when you’re married. Have a small joint account for every day expenses but keep the rest separate. You’ll understand one day when someone in your inner circle loses everything to a divorce because they mixed their individual assets with matrimonial wealth.

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My partner and I are not married yet but we have separate accounts, credit cards but we have 1 shared credit card. Sometimes we treat each other on our individual credit cards but most expenses go on our shared card. Makes tracking things way easier

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This is an awesome way to do it!

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They both wanted the credit card points

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Hahaha yes

What don’t you get, married or not is irrelevant, married doesn’t mean it’s their money, whoever earned that money is the owner of that money, married or not. Divorce lawyers can explain it to you better.

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all divorced couples had the same hope… worked out beautifully

I agree that's weird. It's all OUR money because we are married and on the same team. It's all the same pot.

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because baby girl is still reading and entertained by it

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Wise couple

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Is this the wrong way? What’s the issue?

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dragons can’t save you

It depends on the couple. In my case, we make bigger financial decisions together - such as buying /repairing a house, big vacation and so on. But we both earn, and we are fairly independent in spending what we earn. If I decide to go to a spa, I don’t need to consult with my spouse - it’s my expense and it’s not coming from “our” money. I take care of my parents, my spouse does theirs. It works , and we find it very healthy.

You are describing a very south East Asian social norms if all of you were confused. Where you must combine all your financial sources into one. I’ve never seen a setup in the US where it was an automatic.

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This seems healthy! And every couple is going to have a different balance between where they draw the line of mine/yours/ours. Sounds like you've found your happy balance.

Nothing wrong with this besides the overtly put on show for the party attendees about how they manage their expenses in a modern way. Wanted to collect aura points it seems like. A lot of my friends do this but it is never this obvious to the world. They have shared when I asked about how they manage their expenses together. They’re good friends so I don’t mind asking and they dont mind sharing.

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Some people keep separate accounts one personal for themselves and one shared for bills. Honestly when I was younger I would have had a similar reaction of what’s mine is yours honey, but as I got older and saw my share of disasters I now have a different perspective. Marriage is a contract issue is not everyone adheres to it and you may find yourself one day at an old age where your spouse leaves but not before clearing out your account . So separate for personal and joint for bills seems like the safest option for me now.

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Yeah definitely weird especially to bed to have that conversation there. They could've sorted it out later of they were early in the marriage and hadn't joined finances yet.

If they've been married a long while then it's very strange that they haven't combined finances yet.

We co-mingled for 25 years. Their way is better.

Suggests they are married but not happily.

SVP 1 you gotta get over being a Disney adult. Have you tried therapy?

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